Feeling Stuck and Sad: Struggling to Make Changes in Life

I feel like I don't have control over anything. I'm 39 in a couple of days and live with my mum. I can't afford to move out and I don't even want to because I love my mum very much and want to look after her as much as possible. But even minor things like how I do my hair has to be acceptable to her. And I try to change my life for the better, like to work more than 20 hours per week but I break under the pressure of working too much so I can't afford to make any changes in my life. I try to make changes but things always go wrong. I feel stuck in a rut, unable to express myself and just really, really sad.