Feeling Depressed and Alone

T.W. I am feeling very very depressed and anxious right now and I have no one to talk to about it because no one knows what I am going through. I can't remember the last time I smiled or laughed it has been so many years. I am sitting up in my bedroom all alone. I just want to cry but I am all cried out over it. I sometimes wish that I was never born I am feeling hatred towards myself and feel like ending it I would not be missed my husband would probably throw a party. I was born with a condition that has caused my face to be disfigured and I feel like I was treated badly all my life because of that. I feel like just dying sometimes because the pain is too much to take. I wish I could just go numb so I don't feel the pain anymore