Feeling Alone: Struggling to Find Comfort in Relationships

i feel so alone. i am so alone. my ex confirmed that we will not ever be getting back together and i have no idea what to do about that. i have no friends or anybody to comfort me and a big part of me feeling comforted is being with someone im comfortable with and there's nobody. they're gone. i don't know what to do with myself i have literally nothing. i just want to be loved and to feel as lovee as i try to make others feel. i want to get better. i wish i never messed things up with my ex i wish i wasn't like this i don't know what to fucking do. tw last night i really wasn't feeling good, i took Xanax and it didn't work, i smoked weed and it didn't work, and then that lead me to hurt myself and i was bleeding a lot and i was sobbing and i went into my mom's room crying and she didn't know what to do and looking bad i feel so bad for traumatizing her like that i hate myself so much for acting this way around people i hate it so much. please i just want someone to love me and to stay in my life for good please