Fear of Making New Relationships

is anyone else deeply afraid of making any new forms of relationships? i realized i only trust a very small amount of people and i cant find it in me to try to be more trustworthy. i don’t want any more friends, i struggle keeping up with the ones i do have. i never remember to text first and i always forget to respond. not to mention i’m deeply in love with one of my best friends (for like 3 years now..) we’re currently in a QPR but i want more. but i don’t. i absolutely want nothing to change between us because i cant lose anybody else. i especially cannot lose them. its not like i’ll be able to make new friends anyways so if someone leaves again than i’m screwed. and i realize i’m super unlikable, i’m awkward and scared of everything. gahhhh… i don’t know. i just have a huge fear of the world and i don’t know how to fix myself.