Struggling with an Eating Disorder while Breastfeeding

TW..... after being pregnant, not being able to eat and losing a lot of weight, it seems like being hungry is so much easier to deal with. I'm starting to not produce enough breast milk for my baby, but I don't eat enough too, and breastfeeding women literally have to eat more to produce enough. and I feel so guilty about it because I'm STILL struggling with an eating disorder after it being triggered while pregnant...but the fear of looking like I did after I had my first daughter is much greater, I hated myself then. im pretty sure I love myself and my body now; I guess it's just the fear of losing the way I look now? I've stopped emotionally eating, eating big portions, but maybe making them to small? I don't know when I'm hungry anymore.