Struggling with Existentialism

@captain_pike it's cool that you find this way of life so motivating, but in my experience, traveling there and living there are two different experiences, I'm already half japanese ans have lived in Japan the majority of my life. Ig I'm over exposed to the culture or something but I didn't really find much comfortability in this specific cultural area in japan.

@LetMeBeNamedConk More towards nihilistic, but I've always been atheist. I don't believe in any religion, but I see existence in a more logistic and scientific way I suppose? If I were to describe what I wish I could exist as vs what I am currently, I would rather be a piece of lint. I'm not suicidal, because I think the act of taking your own life is in itself a form of existence with too much impact. If you die, you create an effect that impacts literally everything around you, not just on the emotional plane of people around you, but physically, as people have to end up dragging your body and witness something traumatizing, and the social effect can tumble into something worse. There is too much impact on existence if you are alive, and some inanimate objects can hold meaning and emotion, which can impact other people. That's why I wanna be a piece of lint. If luck is on my side I'd be the lint no one can reach in the corner of an abandoned building. Well that's at least how I could explain what I'm thinking.