Debating Reporting My Trauma After 12 Years

Fellow SA survivor.. I am working with my therapist too. I dont know if there is one specific answer. You need to report to protect others yet... This can be a double edged sword for your mental health.

It’s very much up to you and you shouldn’t feel pressured into making (or not making) a report about anything that’s happened to you. Your primary focus should be on healing your mind/body/soul/environment and if that’s a step you want to take or feel you should then you can discern that and take the step. You also shouldn’t worry about the consequences of your peace of mind on other people (ruining his life). Actions have consequences, people have boundaries, nations have laws and if your peace continues to be disturbed because of an action he took he can’t expect to somehow escape that indefinitely.

I think if you see it as something that can be healing for you regardless of legal outcome, go for it. I reported my SA about 6 months after the fact, it’s not super long but a similar situation because I’d been drinking and didn’t remember much. I worried a lot about loss of evidence/being an unreliable witness so I held off. Once I did report, it was a weight off my shoulders just feeling seen, honest, and heard.

i think you should discuss this more in depth with your therapist, as many people on Alike are unable to make these choices for you (bc we arent professionals). i have had a similar story happen to me, as my assault happened to me when i was younger and it was a hassle to remember. since this is keeping you up at night, you definitely need to express how you're feeling, even if you decide not to report it. you'll start feeling better when you're able to release all your emotions about the situation, stay strong! ❤️

First, I wanna say that what you're feeling is completely valid and I don't think it's irritational at all. I've been going back and forth about reporting my assault to the authorities, too. And for the exact same reasons. I don't think it's my place to tell you to press charges or not because this development is deeply personal. But I do want to give you some comfort: you will see an end to these sleepless nights and intrusive thoughts. Knowing what to attribute them to is important to recovery. I hope this helps at least a little and I hope you can rest. ❤️