Dealing with Heart Murmur Anxiety

Hello I just found out I have a Heart Murmur. Just wanted to know and I the only one that feels like your chest is about to explode. I feel like I can't breathe. Constant pain, in my chest and back. Sometimes I literally have to take a deep breath. Is this common?

I think I have some sort of health anxiety. if I ever feel a heart palpitation I can get pretty freaked out at least I did when they started in fact I never realized heart palpitations until after my back surgery. I've been overwhelmed with the fear of dying everyday and it's no way to live it's taken control over my mental state. if I feel a ache in my chest which could infact be Fibromyalgia at least from the doctors so far I worry about it. my cardiologist told me you would know if you were having heart pain because it's relentless and painful. I think about my mom dying at times and my past family members death. Mom died in 2017 I couldn't even cry and I've still not been able to cry about it I feel terrible about not being able to gather the emotions to cry. The truth is I've not been able to cry about anything after my mom died and I had my cousin die last year of COVID. it's like my emotions just shut off except for anxiety type life that I wake up almost every morning "Am I Dying today?". laying on my left side can cause some sort of mild panic attack because I'll feel this similar "flutter" you get in your stomach but it will be on the left side near my ribs if I lay on my left side on the bed. it seems to occur more when I move or roll a bit and try to get comfortable. last week I think Wednesday I woken up felt like something was stuck and heavy sensation in my esophagus or at least it felt there not sure if it was chest related. I was sleeping on my stomach and woken up and after getting up I had that sensation for an hour until it went away. sensation could be described like a void in my chest or a muscle stiff but dull feeling not painful but something lurking there. I even got up and did a mild jog for a few minutes to see if it would help out and maybe that helped because like I said it took about an hour to feel better. I remember going to bed that night it actually took me awhile because everything time I closed my eyes I would jerk a bit similar to o hypno jerk. my arm would move involuntarily and when I did fall asleep I felt like I was dying in the middle of my chest but it's hard to explain it was painful it was like this deep void lurking when I closed my eyes, reopen my eyes seem to clear that feeling off but it actually took me until 2-3 am or so to finally doze off from being tired and that's when I woke up having this strange sensation as described above.

Terrified of Losing My Life or My Child's Life Due to My Heart Condition During Pregnancy