Terrified of Losing My Life or My Child's Life Due to My Heart Condition During Pregnancy

Ourselves

None of that is or ever will be your fault we are perfectly imperfect human beings and we need to be patient with yourselves. You're doing impeccable ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

I have RA and lupus and I lost my first baby in the first trimester and that was very difficult but my second was successful and he's now 11 and healthy as can be and I have a four year old who's delivery was scary because they lost him twice and I almost died on the table as well. Now my four year old is being tested for mental disorders because he jus doesn't communicate like other children and kinda like in the mindset of a two year old versus a four year old. Being that I have RA and lupus I am making sure at any sign of them getting sick that they are checked for both diseases. But everyday I'm scared they'll wind up getting sick like I did at 15 and suffer thru the same stuff I've gone thru and it terrifies me and in a way make me hate myself for possibly getting my kids sick