How to Cope with Suicidal Thoughts

i understand, i’ve been there. i felt like there was no point in living. but dying is a permanent decision for a temporary problem. you will get over this rough patch in your life, just as i did. i know it, and i feel it for you

Dealing with alcoholism in the family.... mine, my husbands, our adult children, my two dad's, his dad.... It is everywhere. And it makes for poor decisions! And heartaches. I'm sharing because I hope someone can see someone has it way worse than they do. And they can think of someone who truly loves them more than someone that doesn't. For me, it was living for my 3 children. Of which 1 is dead now. It was living for my mom whom I viewed as we don't get along very well. I know we love each other, we just don't see eye to eye.  And it hurt.  The above is true for my husband. It was living for my husband even tho we constantly fight. It was living for me. Because I count and matter to all my family.  Even though I didn't feel like I did. Look deep down and be honest with yourself to see the love of people around you. The love they have for YOU, even when it doesn't feel like they do. Those who have or had a brief encounter with you, even for a small moment. A stranger or someone you met in a casual setting and ran across several times. A moment that meant something to them and you didn't even realize it. Even people on this page you have never met tell you they love you and you matter. Feeling the love they have for you as a human. You may think, they don't even know me.... but once I understood how sensitive I was, I understood people really care. Of course, there are some that don't. But forget them and focus on those that do. The compassion one human has for another without even knowing them is huge. Give it time, things WILL change and you'll view things differently over time. That is the only thing we can count on in this life time.... is CHANGE. The thought of ending my life was strong. And lasted several months. As I look back, it cropped up several time through out several years. I'm so very glad I wasn't successful!! My thoughts have changed!! When a person dies, no matter how it happened, their suffering ends, but the suffering for so many people who were around them "Starts". I didn't want to be responsible for so much suffering even tho mine could ended 💔 ❤ 💞

1. Was separated for a year and half from my husband of 33 yrs. Living on my own. 2. On 5-23-21, Got in a motorcycle accident due to alcohol. Hit a tree going to fast on a beautiful Sunday morning. 3. Spent 2 months in the hospital, of which 1 week was in an induced comma and 1 months under heavy medication which I don't even remember the month of June or anyone who came to visit me. 4. My family took it upon themselves to move me out of my home I was living in, and moved me back in with my husband, who I was separated from. No one asked me what I wanted. It just happened. However, I am appreciative because my husband and I are getting along better, but it was a huge hurdle in a short amount of time to get over! And we were together for what happened next. 5. My son of 26 years got in a car accident, fell asleep at the wheel, hit the only patch of ice on the road, went air born, center punched the side of a canal, flipped and landed on our neighbors front lawn and died when his body went threw the windshield this January. At 6am in the morning he had 2 times the legal limit of alcohol in him. The same son that found me in the of act of ending my life 10 years prior. Yes, someone, somewhere has it worse than I do!!

I have also taken on this thought practice.....Someone always seems to have it worse than I do. And I don't have to look far, people in my community DO have it worse than I do. I'm just gonna share the top 5 things that has happened in just the past YEAR for me. I have way more. But these are the top ones. Since May 23rd of 2021.....

What helped me from wanting to die is seeing others who had suffered from their loved one that committed the act and seeing how hurt others were. I truly love some people in my family. I decided I love them more than the idea of wanting to hurt the ones that hurt me. Seeing how others hurt by the action of their loved one who is dead now really affected me and helped me decide I want to live for the ones I loved and they loved me, even tho I didn't have the realization of how much they loved me. I have been on a mission to try to find the answers to my misory. It has not been easy. I quietly search the internet and have been to many counselors. I am definitely open to "how" to find my answers. So if anyone has any suggestions, I'd love to hear them. Anything that's working! I haven't found the right counselor yet. I have been to several. This realization happened over 10 years ago. Since then, my life has turned upside down in the past year. It's worse "now" then it was when I tried to end my life. I'm looking for like minded people who can identify with me on anything. I've realized no one will be just like me. Everyone's experiences are different thus making everyone's life different. But I can pull from pieces of their life that are similar like my life to try to heal from their experience.

Find prosperity. I know this world could be pointless but just find happiness within one self. We aren’t that different because we’re carbon and a bunch of other elements. But try to improve yourself, and self esteem. I hope you can find happiness real soon.

😥💕Oh, sweet soul...does it comfort you to know that someone wants you to live? And I've never met you! But I've been there, for close to my entire life. All I need to know is you are another human being who is in agony, and you have a purpose.