During the school year I always get into a state of mind where I’m stressed with all the Kate work piling up. I feel to guilty to try and ease the stress through playing a video game or doing anything “fun”, because I feel like it only proves I don’t care about my school work. But if I try and do my work, I only can do a super small portion of it, and beat myself up over not being able to finish all it normally like I used to. I beat myself up over not being able to be “normal” like everyone else in the class. I get into this state where I am stuck in bed and cannot move to do something for my mood or to take care of my responsibilities. I end up doing this the whole entire day and use up all that time I could’ve put into finishing my pile of owed work, and then it piles on top of itself even more every day, and the cycle continues. It’s so hard doing simple things like typing only one word for an essay, or just straight up thinking of what I’m supposed to be doing when it comes to my work. I hate it and it makes me hate myself. As I get more behind the cycle and the negative feelings get worse. How do I counter this? It’s happened every year for the last few years since COVID started. I haven’t been able to feel fit in and act normal like every other one of my classmates since.
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