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dewday

643d

I’ve been in an abusive relationship for two years. We both have BPD. We abused each other. I would say and do hurtful, destabilizing things out of the blue without him expecting it. Then act confused about the consequences. He did everything he could to be gentle, and forgiving, warning me that he was worried that if things didn’t get better he’d start having dissociative episodes. We had a stressful move. I got meaner for a while. He started dissociating. He started hitting me and verbally abusing me while he was dissociating. As soon as he snaps out, he’s always horrified with himself. He told me for months he would do anything for it to stop, if only his doctors would refer him to a residential treatment facility sooner. I finally had the guts to simply pack my bags and leave a week ago. He had a horrible episode as a result and ended up in a psych ward, which resulted in him finally getting referred to residential. Part of me is afraid that if we try again, it will all repeat itself. Another part of me wants so badly to try again, after we’ve had some space, and both of us have gotten the help we need. It’s impossible for me to know what will happen next. I just want us to both be okay.

Top reply
    • dewday

      632d

      Condescending and assuming you know more about my situation than you do

    • dewday

      632d

      Condescending and assuming you know more about my situation than you do

    • dewday

      632d

      you replied way to many times and told me what I should do rather than simply offering support for my situation. I don’t appreciate that

    • dewday

      632d

      He’s finally getting the help he needs, and so am I. When we’re both ourselves, we treat each other wonderfully. He’s in residential now. His meds have been working and he’s stable. I’m not giving up on him. Sorry guys

    • alovelynotesapp

      643d

      Abuse is a dealbreaker! Don’t try again! You got this!!!✨💛

    • alovelynotesapp

      643d

      Go bravely into the unknown. You’re not in charge of his emotional well-being. Put a metaphorical wall between you and him.

    • alovelynotesapp

      643d

      You made the right decision. Feel good about that. Be proud of that. The truth of the matter is, two borderlines will not be an easy life. Borderlines so much better with someone consistent. If you start to feel panicky. Or want to go back. I do a mental exercise where I ride the wave of all emotions. I let go. & anytime I feel strong emotions amI say “you are welcome here” I accept them as they come. & essentially let go of the person or the expectatikns and the fears that I’m holding so tightly to. I honor them. And I empower myself to use my emotions to help me. You prove to yourself that you can carry the weight. The fears. The heartbreak. You can do it!!!!!! There’s a great book called The Art of Letting Go. Read the portion about Being Alone. A lot of it is so good! So proud of you!

    • alovelynotesapp

      643d

      GOOD JOB

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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