NyQuill

6d

***CW: under the influence of alcohol, also previous post update***







While I was drunk a couple days ago, I texted this person this;


“Hey *you*!

I will preface by saying I am inebriated, but I do stand by the fact it’s liquid confidence. And that not everything will be coherent!!

Our time is limited. I’m glad you’re a realist, and I’m glad you were brave enough to approach. We’re both graduating and I have no idea if I’ll see you again.

Anyway, our time is limited. But you’re just like me frfr. I don’t know how, but you are. My brain keeps telling me, or more like I have the thought that I have scared you away. In the sense that I don’t know if I can trust you. I’m learning to know that I can trust people. But it’s still so hard. People, no matter how close you are to them, still won’t tell you how they truly feel about you, what they think about you. Maybe you’re truly away from your phone and being a productive student. Or I have scared you away. All I know is that, again, our time is limited. And I want to know *you*. I wish to be the person that can help you trust again. I trust easily. I will never again beg for attention or love. It’s a double edged sword. Maybe we can learn from each other, within the small amount of time we have left.

I will probably pull away for a bit. The liquid confidence fades.

TLDR; I ain’t reading all that. You’re a cool human. Thanks”

The next day, he responded

“truth is, im scared. im scared that im becoming my old self again. youre a wonderful person and i do like you but maybe i like you in a not innocent way. I wanted to distance myself for a bit just to test it out. I should have relayed this information to you, and im sorry. I truly do not know what to do.”

Then I responded (sober):
“You can be both, seeking and distancing. I wish you would tell me your fears. But I can’t make you do or feel anything, and the same is for you from me. The fact that you have that fear of becoming your old self is a sign that you won’t. Your old self wouldn’t think about that. But you are. You are doing the best you can. And I am very proud of you.

I can offer you three things. I can listen, I can listen and offer advice, or I can give you space.

Just know that regardless of the option, I’ll still be thinking about you. Because I believe you. And I believe in your journey to get better. Take care of yourself. I’ll still be here ⭐️”

He then replied
“Thank you for being so understanding. I’ll be in touch 🫡”

A bit later, he texted me again. He wanted me to clarify what I meant “you’re just like me frfr”
I’m not going to discuss everything said here, but I told him what I meant when I said that.
I’m a researcher at heart. I’m not the best at social situations, but I’m working at them. I like to learn, so I’ve been reading about his condition. How to better help him. To be gentle and understanding. This is how I cope. He’s also in his final semester and from what he’s told me, he’s not super enthusiastic about his major. But he doesn’t want to switch, as he’s been here “too long.”
We share the burden of graduation, our mental conditions, and many things.

For those who have been here a while and have read my posts, the reason I got on this app was because I was relearning to interact and trust people again. I cut two people out of my life, and honestly, I’m doing so much better! It doesn’t hurt to think about them anymore. I can look at their photos and only remember the good memory. I’m healing.

Which brings me to this new person. I think I know what he’s going through. I want to offer the support I wish I got. Of course, I can’t make anyone accept help, I just wish he felt safer with me.
We have tried to make plans to meet up, and he’s honest, “probably, we’ll see!” I admire that. But I have thought that something has happened. And has pulled away once again.

Strangely, I feel rather calm. I’ll send him one text of encouragement, and give him the space he needs.


Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

Attention and concentration deficit

Anxiety (Including GAD)

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☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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