Feeling Worthless and Alone

❤️Hugs. I feel similar.

Hugs. It sounds like you are going through a lot. I have been there. I know it’s going to sound weird but you may want to see a psychiatrist and ask to be evaluated for ADHD. I was and it answered soooo many questions. Like the extreme self loathing and just waiting for my loved ones to reject me… that actually has a name Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria. I’m not a psychiatrist but I think it may be helpful for you. Reach out if you wanna talk. You are worth so much! I’m so glad you were open

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Thank you for sharing. No one should ever suffer in silence so just getting it off your chest has to be a great relief for you. What you’re going through is extremely difficult but you sound extremely resilient. It’s very hard but try to think of your past that you feel as failures as lessons learned to apply to your future. Another big help to clear your mind and sort through your thoughts in a healthy way would be to seek out a therapist who specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It did wonders for me. Your boyfriend sounds like a wonderful man. You may doubt yourself but it sounds like he sees a number of wonderful and amazing things about you. Lastly, I wanted to share something with you that I say to myself out loud when I get really down on myself that helps me feel better and keep hope. And that is that someone out there (your boyfriend, family members, friends) feels better because you exist. Remember that.

I feel the same exact way wow same thing here❤️

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You are not Worthless. And maybe your boyfriend was sent by God to help you get through all the pain that you’re experiencing. I have two children and both of them don’t want to live with me. My son was pretty much raised by my mom he’s 27 now and can’t stand me most of the time. my daughter is nine and said she wanted to move so I found us a house out in the country and now that it’s time to move she said she wants to finish the school year out here and stay with my aunt and uncle. my son was the same age when he decided he wanted to stay with my mom and I lost him I’m so scared that’s going to happen again. I don’t know much about your life but I’ve had addiction problems most of my life and it has caused me to miss out on so much. I too have had depression since a very young age. my best years were when I got my daughter back and I was sober. She was seven weeks old when I lost her and I didn’t get her back until a year and a half later. Shortly after that me and my husband separated. My life was fantastic for like two after that. me and my daughter were together every every single minute of every single day and I loved life but then I kept waiting just like you for something to happen something to go wrong because life doesn’t go well like this for me and this was the longest it ever went decently and I kept a job for eight years for the first time in my life but then my company sold the property and the day they took over December 5 2019, 5 mins after they walked in the door my brother called to tell me mom died. Unexpectedly. And I ignored her last call to me the day before. Between my health issues and missing training and mom dying, I ended up getting fired from the new owners of that property 3 months after they took over. Then Covid hit. I was without a job for 10 months. Actually I got fired from another and quit a horrible and dangerous feeling one. I was finally able to get my rent paid by rent relief ($14,000) and I thought finally things were getting better. I was wrong. That was September 2021 and I asked to sign a new lease but instead they gave me a non renewal after all of that. I was suppose to move in with my brother but on November 17 my brother osssed away. Unexpectedly and I had the ringer turned off on my phone. He was able to call his boys and my uncle but my son ignored his call before he passed away. He was younger by 5 years. My mom and my brother were all that I really had left from when I was growing up and I promised him that I would take his two boys if anything ever happened to him but of course I was in a no position to take on any other people I can even take care of myself so I feel guilty about that. My new job is a $20,000 + a year pay cut so money is tight. So Lost my apartment and my last resort living g situation. moved in with my best friend her boyfriend started making sexual advances and said that if I didn’t do certain things I could not live here luckily I got back together with my ex-boyfriend from a long time ago and we got a house so things go up things go down you just Gotta hang in there another day I’m trying to just like you. If you ever need to talk to anyone besides your boyfriend I’m here to listen. I don’t have diabetes but I do have narcolepsy and it’s the reason that I’ve lost three or four jobs in the last two years. And it’s very very hard to deal with. I was doing talk to text while I was driving so hopefully most of this made sense I know there was a lot of run-on sentences so I apologize I normally have better grammar.

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