See Alike in...

Alike App

Browser

Knees

454d

Tw : rape I think everyone has a horrific coming out story and I wanted to share mine on here because it still torments me. I was trying to come out to my grandma in a conversation and when I was building up to it my grandmother told me that she knew that I was queer because I had been raped by a girl when I was little and was now mentally conditioned to like girls. I couldn’t even explain myself, and to make it worse when I attempted to tell my mom how bad this situation was she said ‘at least she’s not homophobic’ like that would make me feel better. When I think back on this event I really question why my grandmother even told me any of that and didn’t just say she was happy and proud of my for coming out to her instead of trying to prove a point.

Top reply
    • RandiJean

      454d

      I'm sorry this happened. I understand where she is coming from. In the instance of trauma bonding and trauma reliving but your trauma should not be used to justify your sexuality. I recommend reading the book "The Body Keeps the Score" as it helps bring to light how trauma has been affecting your life even in places you can't see that it has been.

    • roberri

      454d

      i am so sorry for her reaction. it is not only wrong, but disgusting that she is comparing what i assume is one of the most terrifying, terrible experiences you’ve had to a part of your identity. your trauma is not you. it will always affect you, you will learn to grow around it because you seem to be such a strong person. however, your identity is something you should feel proud of. i am so sorry for her reaction. you have every right to be mad. even if she’s not “outright homophobic”, the assumption that your trauma is what dictated that part of your identity is extremely invalidating. YOU realized that on your own. your pain is not a part of your identity. they’re separate. your mom is just as blind as your grandmother if she doesn’t understand that.

    • RandiJean

      454d

      I'm sorry this happened. I understand where she is coming from. In the instance of trauma bonding and trauma reliving but your trauma should not be used to justify your sexuality. I recommend reading the book "The Body Keeps the Score" as it helps bring to light how trauma has been affecting your life even in places you can't see that it has been.

    • MorRhioghain

      454d

      I'm so sorry to hear that, sounds really hard to hear

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

Thank you! Your submission has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.

Want to chat or share? Download the Alike app now and get complete access to Alike.health's unique features.

Find people who are
experiencing a similar
medical reality

100% Free
100%
Free

Download Alike for the full experience

JOIN

View All

Bupropion

night sweats

paranoid

Valium

sertraline

palpitations

Anxiety (Including GAD)

Depression

palpitations

Depression

Valium

Bupropion