Dealing with Abandonment Triggers

Thank u! ☺

I just got some incense! I haven't used it yet but that's gonna be on my list of coping skills! I used to have an app for rain sounds! I'm definitely downloading now! Ahaha

I relate with this so much. I do artsy stuff when I have triggers and sometimes I can’t cause I’m so depressed I don’t wanna leave my bed. I’m learning ways to deal with through a therapist. If you feel like self harming call 911, come on here we got you! Just doing it is the first step. Get yourself a oil diffuser or some oil you like to calm you down, take deep breaths in and out. Download apps. I like listening to rain, thunderstorms. Get an app like that or a diary app. Also, talking to someone helps as well. I cry to let me depression out and I feel better. Listen to your favorite music. Go for a walk. I even use quotes and affirmations on my phone. It helps wonders!

I relate and these messages are really helpful, thanks guys 💕

Exactly! I havent self harmed since 2013 but I still have constant triggers and music is definitely a great escape along with all the other things that were listed

I'm glad you didn't self harm. I've been dealing with it for 20 years. Even though you feel like you didn't do anything, you did get by avoiding self harm and that's great, that's enough sometimes

the best advice that i can give is to use the dbt skill "opposite action". it's the concept that's based on a theory of "action precedes motivation". in other words, whatever you're feeling like doing, do the exact opposite. the common example that's given is if you don't want to go to the gym because you're anxious about it, go to the gym. theoretically the anxiety will go away and you'll end up enjoying it. ofc that's not a relevant example here but i'll give a couple down below! . i'm reading in this thread that people like to watch 13 reasons why as a form of self harm. opposite action would say to force yourself to watch something funny or comforting. . here's an example from personal experiences with being triggered! the other day i was watching a show where someone overdosed. i won't go into the specifics of my trauma related to that, but i was an avid opiate user for quite some time. i wanted to self harm and felt myself starting to dissociate. instead, i got in my car, blasted my favorite (happy) music, and drove on the highway with my windows down. i'm up in boston and it was 15° outside, so the cold wind helped me to ground me and not dissociate. . it SUCKS and it's so hard to do, but once you push yourself to do it it does help. it doesn't make things 100% better of course, but it does give you time to get out of a crisis mode situation in which you might self harm.

Also, what u feel isn't stupid. You're allowed to feel ur emotions but in a healthy way!

I try to distract myself constantly when I'm in a mood like that. Once I begin to feel like that I try to talk to someone, watch something funny, do some art or just find something that will help me forget those feelings/urges.

Omg I watched it too and I felt the exact same thing! I saw this more as a positive thing tho to raise awareness about things like that. I tried not to binge watch it because for me it would be too much at once but I always remembered that I'm no longer in that place. I have triggers but I make sure to remind myself that I am no longer there and that I'm so much stronger now

It’s stupid but I’m watching 13 reasons why kind of as self harm. I knew it would trigger me and here I am

Im sorry hun, did u want to share?

Also having this problem so here for replies too