Raha

131d

I don't know what's wrong with me anymore.
I've been feeling nothing for the past couple of days. I can't be happy or sad anymore. All I can do is dissociate and feel a bit of anger inside but those just stop after I take my anxiety medication.
Sometimes I'm grateful for feeling numb, it's better than sadness and depression, but I'm starting to disconnect from reality now that it's lasting longer.
I just want to feel again. I want to cry until I feel sick. I want to laugh until my stomach hurts. I want to get so angry that I do something like finishing a video game I like at a fast pace or drawing something crazy related to my emotions. I don't know.
I don't know what to do. Anyone feeling the same? I feel so lost.

Buspirone

Depression

Attention-Deficit Disorder

Dissociation

View all
  • Lunarr

    131d

    Dissociative episodes suck and are really rough, I'm sorry you're stuck in one at the moment. Just know that it will pass, everything is temporary. You will get to experience those things again sometime, hopefully soon, but until then be kind to yourself. Take it one day, one hour, one minute even at a time. You could try some grounding exercises and see if they help (big fan of the body scan and 5-4-3-2-1 exercises). Often times dissociation/numbness is a bodily response to an intense stresser. Depression, anxiety, stress itself, etc. It's your brain's way of trying to protect you, even if it doesn't feel that way. A natural (but unhealthy) coping mechanism, if you will. Sorry I can't offer you anything else. Know that you aren't alone. Once I had a dissociative episode that lasted for about 4 days straight and it was very confusing and stressful, I just wanted it to stop. I wanted to cry in frustration but couldn't, wanted to speak but struggled with being mostly non verbal, etc. If you ever want to chat feel free to DM me. I hope things get better for you soon!

    • Raha

      131d

      This is really helpful, thank you so much. I keep forgetting to do my breathing/grounding exercises especially recently. And I think I can pinpoint when I started dissociating because a lot of bad things has been happening recently. Anyways thanks again for your help/advice.

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