Find a distraction or an outlet for those urges. I used to punch my pillow or my mattress if I felt the need to take out my emotions on myself. I made it a habit to paint out my feelings (digitally because art supplies are expensive and there are free drawing apps) and I'd use thar as my outlet- if I got upset, I'd open the painting, and I'd intentionally make it a painting so it would take a long time to complete so I'd have one big outlet for my pain that would last a month or so. I'd write out all the intrusive thoughts and all the angry feelings into a Google doc and then delete it after a week when I wasn't so caught up in the heat of things- these are all my tricks and apply best to me and my habits (I like drawing and writing) but maybe you can take them and tweak it so it applies better to you and it can be your coping mechanism