Coping with the death of a parent who hurt you

My dad is also nearing death (several major strokes) and also relate to the comment above. It's confusing and painful having such conflicting feelings about a parent, and that comes to a head when death feels close. The best advice I can give for now is self compassion. Be curious about your feelings, and let yourself explore them. It's not wrong to feel emotions, and your feelings about your parent and their condition are unconditionally valid. Take care of yourself OP.

my dad has been very sick for a long time and realistically i hate him. but i also love him. if you can i would look up dbt skills for dialectics and radical acceptance. thats what really helped me. im also here to chat if u need