I’ve been so scared of my parents for as long as i can remember. I feel like i don’t have any reason to I’ve just never been comfortable opening up to them. Im scared of changing their opinions of me, of changing their expectations. I don’t know why. I just don’t want them to know anything about me. I thought it was because my mom’s family is big and talks a lot but im not so sure. It’s really hard for me to open up to people and I still get paranoid that they can see my search history and I’m moved out. I used to imagine that they could see everything i did on my phone with like a week’s delay or something. I’d hear my name all muffled from the other room and always assume the worst. I apologize so much and thank people even more. I always think through my feelings logically and make sure they make sense before i feel them. I wish i could just live my life and talk to my friends without thinking of all the reasons I shouldn’t.