Feeling Alone and Unheard

I think ive realized that I should cut off from everyone. My mental state is taking a steep downward slope from the "normal human" feeling my meds gave me for a few weeks. I wish my friends gave a fuck... but I dont want to be "the downer" to them. I'm only hurting myself by thinking anyone I know actually gives a shit, because I'm crushed when I think they don't. sure people would care if I was about to off myself, but no one gives a fuck if you're doing it slowly. I'm tired, ill be alive because I have someone to care for, but every day is hell and my body feels like its decaying. My memory is more shot than before and I blank out and almost scadoosh down stairs. I'm scared. so so sacred...