Back to School Dread: Dealing with Mental Health Relapse

So School is around the corner and I’m having major major dread about the change. Not like I haven’t done this before, I’m a 3rd year student. I know (mostly) how it goes. But I guess it’s just the pain of going back there, to where my mental health journey really kicked off. Probably the feeling of relapse too. I mean it’s always there, but it’s almost like I’m not allowed to feel that way. I don’t know how I’m feeling and most of it just balls up into my chest and head and makes me pass out (according to my doctors)