Struggling with Boys and Friendships

just so you know I'm not 20 I'm 15 I know I need this app tho I have a problem with boys. 1.my classmate's are they demons to the hell 2.I feel like my bf hates me he ignores me but I love him it's so hard to say I hate him. his name is Omaga Ruth. 3.he says I love you....only when I do something for him. 4.my friend Erin. she's been my friend for a long time. 11 years.she make me laugh but one day she said quietly ( this is why I hate you ) and that hurt me a lot. she makes me mad now when she's not happy.its like ( Uhh fine ok ok ) an her face at first is shocked and then like she dreads all around.to make me feel bad. 5.my mom takes care of 3 kids and 2 exes. 6.i all ways yell at a mirror at how I hate them-boys-and make my brother concerned. 7.i all ways eat chips-donuts-poptarts- 8.i put my feels on people I should not I should have told Erin that I did not like when she said that.and my bf that he never talks to me.told those boys in my class that there wrong. but I would never do that cuz I feel bad for everything and everyone-that only stoped 1 time a boy kept calling me a slut so I was trying to literally kill him for that.i ran up yelling at him.lost my voice after but these older kids held me.but they asked him to say sorry but he refused.so when he felt good about himself I kicked him in the ass then they let go. and I chocked him. and he said sorry. and I cryed after that to know I hurt someone like that hurt me more the me kicking him in the ass I cryed so hard I ran in the streets and sat down.i felt like that was wrong so I stopped myself and went home I'm sorry I'm making you read all this please give me advice I need it