Confrontation and Anxiety: How to Cope

I eliminated what set me off!

I know just how you feel. As I’m getting older, my short term memory is getting much worse. I worked in retail management for 20 years. I was getting so bad remembering important things that I just couldn’t gather my thoughts well enough anymore to supervise my subordinates or bosses. So now I have a job where I don’t have to think as much or manage anyone. I feel so much happier thankfully

You don’t need to speak well to be a good worker at most jobs. I very much know the insecurity of, “what do I say” and “what if I mess up?” and “what if I get it wrong?” After about 10+ years of therapy I’m learning that my anxiety comes from trauma, abuse, and conditioning. That voice isn’t you! It’s just a feeling! An overwhelming one, to be sure, but it is not who you are. I know it’s a weird concept but most people don’t have an opinion about you. Not until their moment of interaction with you. And usually that moment is brief, and then it is over. And the probability of ever seeing them again is pretty low unless they’re in your community, neighborhood or workplace. Which really narrows the expectations of what you should do and how you should act. You don’t have to please everyone! You don’t have to be perfect and you don’t have to make everyone like you! I know it feels good to be liked but it feels even better to be needed. Just focus on you, whenever you feel your feelings rising and fear building, question if those people are really going to care in 5 minutes. A day? A month? A year? If not, let it go! It takes practice! So practice with strangers first. Start with harmless but perhaps a bit silly interactions. See how you feel afterwards. How is your nervous system? Still nervous, but happier for having made a human connection? Challenge yourself to think past your immediate emotions, like riding a wave on a surfboard. ❤️