hauntedluminary

109d

I'm honestly really nervous and scared about this school year. Last week was my first week of my senior year of highschool and everything seems to be happening so fast. I'm in marching band and I'm trying so hard not to drop out because my anxiety is already driving me crazy. I only have four classes so when I get home I get lost in my thoughts and have nothing to do to keep me occupied. And then on top of everything I'm absolutely terrified of becoming an adult and the idea of graduation in general. It's all so scary and overwhelming and half the time it feels like I'm numb to it all at the same time of being terrified out of my mind.

I'm sorry that this is all over the place, hopefully it makes some sort of sense to whoever is reading.

Depression

Anxiety (Including GAD)

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  • tinybagel

    109d

    I totally get this feeling. The sense overwhelming makes you feel so stuck sometimes. The hardest part I think is with anxiety it’s like a worry and anticipation of the future. Ironically, the more we worry about the future, the less we have control of it and the more it controls us. For example I’m deathly terrified of responsibilities of the future a lot. The more I think about it, the more it overwhelms, cripples me, and forces me to freeze and usually end up doing nothing at all. You mentioned it’s hard to occupy your mind, I had this problem a lot until I found hobbies and little things I love to do (art, music, games, etc) to help decompress at night. You feeling numb to it is OK. You feeling terrified is OK. We don’t have control of what our brains do, but we have control over how can we talk our brains down from the edge. You’re dealing with a lot of stresses and understand that what you’re feeling is normal and allow it to follow through you and express yourself in healthy ways. Idk hopefully any of this is helpful for you. I can completely relate to how you feel. The war against anxiety gets better with time and loving yourself.

  • lai

    109d

    you sound a lot like me… marching band included haha. senior year is definitely really scary and change is scary, but sometimes it turns out really good. im about to start my senior year of college which is wild to say, and i feel like this all over again. i have to keep reminding myself that change isn’t good or bad, it just is. i work on my riding the wave technique from dbt to help me accept the way im feeling. ultimately, its very fair to feel anxious about change, and idk if any of this is helpful, but just wanted to say you are not alone💗

  • Amy420

    109d

    What helps me is to write down what i need to do when im feeling overwhelmed. At my worst, i tell myself that all i need to do is breath. I used to feel everything horrible or nothing at all too, when i was in highschool. I think for me, what helped the most for getting out of the black and white emotions was medication.

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