What's the worst symptom you have?

ptsd induced panic attacks

No feelings of any sorts, pushing people away, always wanting to be alone, not feeling hungry anymore.

During quarantine I just felt like not leaving my bed and doing nothing, if I'm going to die, I deserve to suffer. Barely leaving my room and filled of paranoia. To the point I couldn't go to the store either my mom terrified of the fact she may check my grades (at that point I hadn't opened my computer in who knows how long, this was during virtual learning). When she left me alone I'd be terrified. I barely ate, barely slept, I didn't take care of myself. No showers or brushing my teeth. I didn't even change clothes for days at a time. I felt like I was worthless and god for nothing. I even almost attempted. I didn't because I didn't feel like I deserved an east way out. I felt like I deserved to die suffering, not quickly. I spent hours just on my phone. I was apathetic and just depressed to horrible lengths.

Feeling absolutely no emotion. It's so difficult to explain to people. I know how certain things are supposed to make me feel and then I don't feel anything.

100% Dissociation. Like when your body just doesn’t move for hours and there are no thoughts either. Whenever I come to I’m always freezing and hungry and the emotions returning is really overwhelming.

Intrusive thoughts about wanting to die whenever I’m faced with conflict in the slightest means

Negative thoughts and voices in my head

Like I've just ruined my whole life I can never do nothing right