Wishing I Wasn't Autistic

I used to hate my autism and would do research on all the signs and ways to combat them so i could be “normal” I thought I would never be able to find love or friends. I read many false study’s on all the bad things about autism and fell into a self hate whole for most of my life. I wish there was a way to get rid of it for so long. I hated that I couldn’t do normal things and that I had such “stupid” problems because I felt they were all so “over dramatic” and I should just get over them. I know have come to terms and helped so many other kids with there autistic traits that I am proud of who I am. I would never be able to do the things I do now if I hadn’t experienced them myself. ( I’m a psychologist with a behavioral specialist minor. I help young kids with behavioral issues-most autism) but I was also always seen has a “miracle” autistic person because o went from being mute to talking and being in honors classes and do things no one ever thought I would be able to

every day of my life. I hate it and I want to be cured. it's not a quirky personality trait, it's not an "identity". it has ruined my life and many others. most of my siblings and cousins are autistic too. many different levels of suffering. nothing is fun or cute about it and I want to have a different brain. other people are able to show compassion, but I also need to be able to learn more and better myself so I can be a happy and successful adult. I don't understand empathy. I don't have friends. I have shut downs and meltdowns and panic attacks constantly and I have my entire life. I hate that social media has turned this into something that people WANT to have

all the time. i feel so misunderstood constantly. also, autism has caused some of my issues with food which have led me to have a lot of problems with my physical health.

Never. I get frustrated with my late dx and with the way ive gone through life because of that. I get tired from being so overwhelmed. I wish that I could be a competent adult doing adulty things. There are a lot of things I wish I could change about myself that stem from autism. But the few things I actually love and value in myself I owe to my brain. This thing comes with sadness and isolation, I regret much, but I dont want to be someone else.

I love being autistic❤️. I do hate how hard the world makes life for autistic people tho

So often. I take things so much differently than other people, which makes me seem weird, and then I can't explain myself at all

it's not that I wish I wasn't autistic, I just wish the world was more accommodated to autistic people. I love being autistic and often take pride in it, but that doesn't mean it comes without challenges

Never

rarely if ever. it makes social settings hard and all, but i'm anthropophobic anyway, and my small group of friends are all also autistic. sharing that is why we get along so well. my partner of 3 and a half years is also part of that group. other than the social issues and sensory issues, i like a lot of things about who i am that are because of my autism. i like that i can collect knowledge, get lost in fictional worlds, be very blunt with people, and over all that i'm a weird and unique person. i strive to live my truth without giving a fuck what others think of me, because it's my life, not theirs. not feeling the need to subscribe to some invisible social expectations is freeing beyond compare. i find that being open and honest with people is the easiest way to deal with communication issues. explaining your intentions to reduce understandings helps them see you for who you are instead of assuming bad intent. and if they're not willing to communicate back or listen to you, that's a problem with them, not you.

every single time i talk to my boyfriend bc it makes communication hard asf

For me I wish I wasn't a lot of the time. only because sometimes it feels like your singled out and that can feel very lonely and upsetting.