What is Happening to Me? Seeking Help for PTSD Episodes

I have the same diagnoses & this has happened to me several times. If it’s anything like mine, it’s your body’s natural (survival) response to trauma triggers. The biggest short term fixes that help me are: experiment with surefire ways that will calm you down in an instant (for me it’s music, very specific songs that are nostalgic in a good way); escaping the room (physically exit, take yourself to a new environment, outside/real air helps me the most in an instant); shifting your temperature (hop in a cold shower, hold an ice cube in each hand); and if you’re in public without reach for any of the aforementioned, stand & rock back and forth on your feet with absolute concentration on that movement. Long term, the best thing that helped me was seeing a trauma specialist (therapist). I’ve been seeing mine for 2 years now and it’s been life changing to voice all the reactions/behaviors/ coping mechanisms that I think are crazy & having her be like “no that’s good” & explain the science of the trauma reaction to me. Overall, the more I’ve understood about it, the better equipped I feel to face it. I’m still struggling, and there have been times even recently when I feel out of control, but being able to learn, recognize, preemptively assess & separate reaction from response in my PTSD moments has given me a bigger sense of agency in being able to handle those times. Don’t worry, you’re not crazy (and don’t let anyone tell you that you are). Trauma changes the way that our brains work, it’s only human & your body is doing an absolutely stand-up job in deploying protective survival measures to keep you alive. Hang in there & reach out if you need support ❤️

I myself have been diagnosed with all those same things. to me it sounds like you're having some type of panic attack. I get panic attacks frequently, they aren't like that, but the fact that you can't control what's happening, and the only way to make it go away is crying, to me it sounds like a form of panic attacks. you're fully conscious when this happens?

I think you have some trauma surrounding your mom, which explains your behavior around her. Try thinking of anything she has done that has negatively affected you, like maybe if she has repeatedly neglected you or have put others needs before yours. Please remember it's okay and that you are allowed to cut your mom out of your life if it's for the sake of your own happiness ❤️