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Vengefulgayunicorns

413d

Does anybody might know possible reasons for why I might get upset so much I cry when my stuff gets moved or touched? Cause I definitely don't think its normal to get THAT upset when people touch your stuff. And idk if its a trauma thing or what. My roommate's mom says its "irrational" and its "not like she's going through it" but to me, its like, a huge deal and idk why. I also dunno if others feel the same?

Top reply
    • Magi

      413d

      I get that way too. I think it’s a combo of my autism/ocd. I like my house being my safe space. It’s my space that is set up how I want it. And any/every time I leave it will always look and be the same when I return (I live alone.) it’s the only place that I have that safety net in place. It’s the main control I have as I can always come back to my stuff and my space as it is. It’s definitely a mix of different things going on in my brain but I totally relate to that feeling.

    • Cece7

      407d

      It could be related to trauma and the craving for control and order in your life and when things are moved it could be feeling violating to your personal space

    • Igglepiggle

      407d

      If you’re asking if it’s ocd, that’s unlikely it’s probably an autism anxiety thing most likely which I get, ocd involves intrusive thoughts not just crying, I don’t think the people on this app are qualified to actually give any advice in the way or explanations and diagnosis, but ocd involved extreme intrusive thoughts like if I don’t do this pattern then this person will die or I will die, it’s a pretty horrendous mental illness that can even involve hallucinations in extreme cases, I am autistic with ocd tendencies where my extreme thoughts of worry make me follow rituals and impacts my health like stops me from eating, but it’s very common in autism to get stressed and meltdown when things are changed from what you want like routines or in this case your belongings, and also someone being in your personal space like that can feel quite stressful, if you don’t think you have autism though there can be a lot of other explanations like a hormonal imbalance causing an overreactive emotional response

    • Nanokins

      408d

      I get this way due to trauma. Specifically, I don't like people touching my clothes washing or doing it for me, it really freaks me out. Just explaining to people around you how you feel, even if they can't relate gives them the heads up and puts you at ease. And if they don't understand and continue to do these things then that's on them.

    • WizardOfWardrobe

      408d

      That really sucks. It sounds like you're dealing with a combination of underlying mental health issues, trauma, and general environmental stress, which probably explains why you're getting so overwhelmed by seemingly small things. Basically, your battery is dead, and you legit don't have the bandwidth to deal with one more thing. If that's the case, all you can really do is take care of yourself as best you can. Try to understand what your needs are, and find ways to accommodate them. Hopefully things will eventually get better. One of my coworkers recently put me into JAN for workplace accomodations - it can be a good place to start for yourself as well.

      • WizardOfWardrobe

        408d

        @WizardOfWardrobe (JAN is https://askjan.org/)

    • goronkiss

      411d

      I have this problem. I thought it was trauma based because I've never heard of another person reacting similarly.

    • MarinaV

      411d

      it’s a huge deal to me when people touch me stuff without my permission. I would never give permission because it’s my stuff and I like things the way they are. I had a roommate in college who would move my things without my permission or knowledge and her friend would use my phone charger. I was irritated. she brought in so much stuff and wanted to take over the room. she was rude in general but it’s boundaries too. you just don’t go grabbing other people’s things or moving them. I love my personal space and not being touched either so I don’t know if that’s part of my trauma.

    • dolphinblues

      412d

      I get that way too. I believe it stems from autism/OCD. Another aspect could be that it's an invasion of privacy and the feeling of lack of respect, not only for your property but for you personally.

    • Nicoratboy

      412d

      I can relate, I hate when people touch my stuff. I get really angry when my mom moves my things.

    • Bakon

      412d

      I am that way sometimes too. It helped me to communicate to those who live with me how distressing it really is and ask that if they must touch my stuff to tell me as soon as they can. It really helps me be more calm and understanding especially when they tell me why they moved my stuff.

    • Magi

      413d

      I get that way too. I think it’s a combo of my autism/ocd. I like my house being my safe space. It’s my space that is set up how I want it. And any/every time I leave it will always look and be the same when I return (I live alone.) it’s the only place that I have that safety net in place. It’s the main control I have as I can always come back to my stuff and my space as it is. It’s definitely a mix of different things going on in my brain but I totally relate to that feeling.

    • WizardOfWardrobe

      413d

      Could definitely be a combo. I'm predisposed to getting very attached to my things (my grandmother was a full-blown hoarder) and then my dad was abusive. He would sometimes destroy my stuff on purpose, or force me to get rid of it. Are you upset that it's "not in its place," or that someone else has touched it?

      • Vengefulgayunicorns

        413d

        @WizardOfWardrobe Both tbh

      • WizardOfWardrobe

        413d

        @WizardOfWardrobe Also: it's *not* rational - your roommate isn't hurting anything, and it's reasonable for her to need to interact with your things in a shared space. But it *is* real. You're allowed to feel that way, you just need to stop, take a beat, and recognize that the way you're feeling isn't your roommate's fault.

        • WizardOfWardrobe

          413d

          @WizardOfWardrobe ...and also that it's probably not healthy for you, long-term. I would try to minimize the amount of stuff that's out where she can touch it (or at least, stuff you're attached to) as well as working on building trust with your roommate, reminding yourself that she's not trying to hurt you/damage your stuff, and that it's going to be okay. If you're not ready for that, is getting your own space an option?

    • Dystopia

      413d

      I get that way due to my autism, I don’t like my things being moved or in different places because it messes with my routine. But I also know it could be an OCD symptom, depending on the severity of it

      • Vengefulgayunicorns

        413d

        @Dystopia Like I get so upset that I want to cry and throw a tantrum, I dont do it, but I really want to.

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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Some people experience strong emotional reactions when their personal belongings are touched or moved without their permission. This could be related to a need for control, anxiety, or even OCD. It is not uncommon for individuals to feel upset in such situations, and it's important to communicate your boundaries with others to maintain a comfortable living environment.

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