Undiagnosed ADHD: My Struggle with Self-Discovery

Thought process of today: undiagnosed ADHD/conditions kept quiet. Feel free to add in your thoughts/stories :) Looking back on childhood/teenage memories, I had so many warning signs of ADHD; eating disorders, acting out in class, fidgeting, keeping to myself, inability to focus, constant internal thoughts/scenarios, depression/anxiety, self harm, having to have music playing while I did homework, feeling like an alien among peers, etc. Later on into adulthood it became spending sprees, inability to maintain direction while driving, black and white thinking, OCD tendencies, etc. I didn't know that ADHD was in my family until I was already in my 20s, and it was because I asked one of my parents. My other parent, when I told them of being diagnosed, they didn't believe me at first. That is, until I laid out the list to them that I explained above. And I can't help but think of the times where I tried to tell them in the past that I genuinely couldn't remember and I wasn't disobeying them on purpose. Or that I really was trying in a few of my classes, but I just couldn't do it, only to be faced with being told that I was wrong. With the following generations, I see hope for people like myself who get diagnosed later on in life, because I feel like it is becoming more normalized to realize you aren't "normal." And it sucks to be on the end where you don't know what's "wrong" with you because it was kept hush hush. I feel like the older generations have a common mindset of needing to keep all of this quiet, if it's kept quiet it won't happen. It changes with us.

Your answer

Seae

1y ago

My brother also has ADHD, he can manage it now without medication, but elementary and high school were a special hell for him. I was diagnosed at 17, which led to him finally being tested (could be difficult at the time in Canada), and diagnosed at 14. By then, he’d been so soured toward school, he was dragged through high school by disability services, otherwise he could have fallen through the cracks (if he’d stayed at the public HS in Ontario he would have, they’d just closed one of the two HS for the district, so 4000 students crammed into a school previously holding 2000, designed for about 1000). He played tennis for a few years between high school and university, got into uni based on his tennis, then took off scholarly: double majored, Dean’s list, etc. ADHD runs in our family (not necessarily diagnosed, but very evident they should have been/would be today), on both maternal and paternal sides. He has a son and daughter (2 years and 2 1/2 months old respectively), both of whom will be tested before starting school (~5). Can’t hurt, might help.

beater.queen

1y ago

I didn't know I had adhd till I was 25 (27yo f). I didn't realize why I couldn't keep my house clean, why I word vomited everything, why I interrupted people all the time, etc. Knowing the diagnosis is half the battle. I'm much less frustrated with myself. It's funny bc when I got diagnosed I'd been making a cumulative spreadsheet of all my due dates for classes bc keeping up with 5 documents with due dates on them was insane to me. Doc said it's a coping mechanism that I found worked really well in managing my super severe adhd to be extremely successful in my undergrad. My grades were always good bc it gave me a lot of anxiety to have so many things to do. She said most adhders don't figure out how to keep up with dates and it's a miracle I was able to adapt to college the way I did. Law school was a very different experience bc we don't have assignments. We have one exam at the end of the semester and that's our whole grade. My first year went horribly. I kept up with the readings but finding time to outline and study was not on my agenda so I did my best craming for those exams and I barely made it. Luckily, I've figured it out now and my grades have been significantly better, but it wasn't till higher Ed hit me like a bus that I was able to be diagnosed with adhd.

AnimalBoy

1y ago

My dad doesn't think I have most of my issues, but ADHD specifically seems to be because he has it too and thinks it's all normal because he was never diagnosed. I was diagnosed at 12, i struggle through school and I have had bad sleep issues for decades. I have always had the worst impulse control on the planet and I can't seem to remember much for very long, my dad is the exact same way so he thinks that's just fine.

sentientmeat

1y ago

I have been diagnosed, and i was very early on… but it was almost seen, or at least it felt like i was an alien, as you put it, a burden to my teachers. i was even made to feel like an outsider, with one teacher I would always be yelled at even when she knew my diagnosis… she then made me make a little “reminder note” to myself stating “stay focused/keep calm” and taped it on my desk… whenever she felt i was “acting out” as she put it, she would announce in the front of the class “…. remember your note!” and it would make me feel so isolated and anxious. ADHD is on my fathers side, my dad has it but he “doesn’t believe” in “that kind of stuff” and used to express disappointment about getting medication

Sparkie

1y ago

School was brutal. I can relate to what you said about what your teacher would do. I myself had a teacher who treated me in a similar fashion, minus the entire class part. That was very isolating for you and I wish you didn't have to have experienced that treatment. I can relate in the way that my teacher would yell at me in front of everyone for playing with my hair during a test, or tapping my foot. She would lean on my desk and get in my face. (She was fired about halfway through the year). The other students were brutal for me too. One memory in particular has been burnt into memory of a supposed friend telling me that I stuck out like a sore thumb and needed to change to "fit in."

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