Struggling with Uncontrollable Rages Due to Bipolar and Borderline Personality Disorder

So I have bipolar and borderline personality disorder, and occasionally when I get extremely anxious or upset, I’ll go in to these “rages”; It’s something that’s happened to me for years, with frequency of it going up and down, but it’s EXTREMELY hard to control, and even more difficult since my boyfriend doesn’t seem to understand it… usually it’s if I’m Having a very heated argument with my boyfriend or family, or someone else close, and all of a sudden I will just stark shaking all over, and it feels like i have electricity running throughout my entire body. I end up screaming at this person and sometimes throwing stuff in my anger, and it feels like nobody can console me no matter how hard they try… My biggest problem is that it truly DOES feel uncontrollable to me at most times, and my boyfriend refuses to believe that. He swears that none of my symptoms are uncontrollable at all, and that it’s just me getting mad, when in reality, it’s VERY hard for me to control…it’s extremely physiological, I start sweating, shaking, my face will go red, my voice will go shaky, I can’t think straight, I just feel like exploding, I am just completely blinded and deafened by my own anger…it’s truly awful to go through. This is hard enough for me to deal with on my own, because how it ends usually is I end up sobbing for hours by myself, and then feeling ashamed and embarassed and apologizing to everyone around me, but meanwhile I never really feel understood. Maybe that’s too much to ask for when I’m like that, which I totally get. But it sure as hell makes me feel more alone than anything else, and if anything, kinda like some big baby, who throws legitimate adult tantrums… My bf struggles with anxiety too, just definitely doesn’t manifest in the same way as mine. He refuses to believe that my explosions could have anything to do with my bipolar or borderline, and it’s something that’s become kinda a dead end in our relationship. More than anything….I just want to feel forgiven for being the way I am. I guess I’m wondering if anyone else has experienced the same thing too? It’s so easy to feel crazy nowadays…😭 Hope everyone’s having a good day, sending love out to all ❤️