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Trouble Expressing Anger: Feeling Sad and Guilty Instead

Catimations

256d

Does anyone else have trouble expressing anger? I see people having trouble controlling their anger all the time and I feel so out of place. I can’t get angry, I try to and I just end up feeling sad and guilty. I’ve had to suppress my emotions for so long to just survive and now I feel like a void’s been left in its place. I feel incomplete, like a part of me has been destroyed forever and it fuckin hurts.

10

6

6

Chronic Restlessness and Agitation

Child sexual abuse

Child emotional/psychological abuse

Complex post traumatic stress disorder

Acute Anxiety

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Top reply
    • AnimalBoy

      245d

      The closest I usually get is frustration and overstimulation. I've struggled with being able to feel anger for such a long time I have trouble even processing frustration well and it can feel exhausting

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    • AnimalBoy

      245d

      The closest I usually get is frustration and overstimulation. I've struggled with being able to feel anger for such a long time I have trouble even processing frustration well and it can feel exhausting

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    • spicysugar

      256d

      This completely happens to me. I'll get yelled at and I'll just shut down instead of getting angry back. My partner and I joke about how I have passive-agressive road rage because my immediate response is "well that wasn't so nice" and that's the only level of anger I can reach even when another driver almost crashes into us. I'm really upset about it because it feels like it's there, bubling but then it gets shut completely down by guilt. Idk how to help, just another comment saying you're not alone 💞

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    • bennevalence

      256d

      I am currently dealing with anger issues that manifest in more self destructive ways. I get angry at myself, and take it out on myself. I get angry at people who have hurt me, and take it out on myself. But I keep these feelings locked up. I keep my voice low and try to pass unnoticed. Sometimes I think I've physically lost the ability to scream - as I can't even when I'm alone.

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    • serendi

      256d

      A lot of my abusers were always so angry with me (as abusers tend to do), and my dad’s depression was expressed by being *very* passive aggressive. I internalized all of that, and it’s so hard for me to experience anger. Unlike how a lot of people without mental illness or trauma will subconsciously turn anxiety into anger, it’s the opposite for me. I’ve gotten to where I can usually tell if it begins as anger, but I still struggle to allow myself to feel that instead of becoming anxious and fearful and turning to the fawn response automatically—with everyone.

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      • Catimations

        256d

        @serendi I have such a difficult time not just being in fawn mode as a default, even when I’m around people who are safe in my life it feels like I’m so sensitive and prone to breaking down so easily. I have to remind myself constantly that it’s because I’ve been abused and it’s not my fault, and my partner does such a good job reassuring me in those situations. I’m trying so hard to heal from that abuse and form relationships I’m safe in.

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    • Sunflower.System

      256d

      I constantly run on neutral. I don't know what happy feels like. Instead of angry I'll just end up sad. I feel like I'm missing out on a vital part of being human

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☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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One of the replies in the provided context mentions having trouble with anger and suppressing emotions due to their upbringing. They mention that their father punished them for crying, which led to suppressed emotions in both themselves and their siblings. This could be a similar experience to what you're going through, where suppressing emotions has made it difficult for you to express anger.

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