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melmel12

465d

Tips on going to the doctors as a young female presenting person who struggles massively with pain? Doctors haven't taken my seriously for the past 9 years, especially with my joint pain and fatigue. It is affecting my life so much, I can't even get out of bed sometimes. Doctors have always shrugged it off as hormones or 'growing pains' (I'm 20) or saying that it's 'just one of those things'

Top reply
    • Ash.G

      400d

      @AcidicBunny thanks for the idea. I will attempt at doing that if I can remember too.

    • Atheris

      403d

      My biggest piece of advice is to make them add to your file what they refused to do. If you ask for a test, make them write done they declined. It makes them accountable later and a lot more likely to actually listen. Others advise taking an advocate. I strongly second that! Have you thought about getting tested for Lyme? You don't always know if you've had a tick and the rash isn't 100% either. There are people that have gone years with fatigue and joint pain only to find out they needed the right antibiotics.

    • LixiKat

      408d

      Yup same here chronic joint pain , fatigue, dizziness, chest pain , headache , high BO and lightheaded feelings and so much more all dr did was run a blood test which didn’t even test everything says I should be fine with vitamins I take vitamins and get my age is to young

    • AcidicBunny

      410d

      I would write a list of symptoms and press them to refer you to rheumatology. I was in the same position a few years back. You can also see if there's other GPs in your area or ask to see a female doctor as its your right to and maybe they will be less dismissive

      • Ash.G

        400d

        @AcidicBunny thanks for the idea. I will attempt at doing that if I can remember too.

    • lemonjuice

      410d

      The best I've gotten is to be assertive and a bit of a bully to the doctors. And if they show a significant lack of empathy multiple times I ditch them. I haven't found a doc that is consistently empathetic unfortunately, so I don't advise ditching them the very first time they show a lack of empathy towards you.

    • Belugabear

      411d

      I absolutely HATE that this is my advice, but whenever I see a new doctor I bring my dad, boyfriend, or a male friend. They don’t speak usually, but if I’m not being listened to, they speak up and basically repeat what I said and then the doctor will listen. Again, I hate that this is what I have to do, but it has made a huge difference. After the first appointment I’m usually fine on my own, but it really helps make sure I’m listened to

      • Ash.G

        400d

        @Belugabear that is good and all. But I barely have any male family or friends I trust enough or notice my issues enough to really help. Except perhaps my autistic boyfriend. But nether of us drive and he lives in a different town with lousy public transit.

      • lemonjuice

        410d

        @Belugabear that's genius. I wish I had a male presenting person who I could trust to speak up for me 😭

        • Atheris

          403d

          @lemonjuice Any friend that is willing to take notes for you, ask questions you forget or just back up your statement will help some.

        • Belugabear

          408d

          @lemonjuice yeah that’s honestly the hardest part, I’m very glad I have male presenting people in my life I can trust, but honestly even just having another person helps. Especially if they are a bit older, they are more likely to be respected! Sometimes I’ll bring my mom or even my grandmother, and they help as well!!!

    • dolphinblues

      414d

      No one should ever be told they are too young to feel the way they do. I'm glad you have an answer and hope you have a game plan on how to manage it. I am sure you have been dealing with the pain and other symptoms for a long time already. Prayers that you find some relief soon.

    • thrillsnchills

      415d

      Glad you got a diagnosis did they give you a treatment plan

    • melmel12

      417d

      Update: i got diagnosed with hypermobility syndrome which is likely the main cause of my pains! It is common for autism and hypermobility to be co-morbid so it explains a lot!!

      • Zebragirl

        414d

        @melmel12 was gonna ask if you have EDS or HSD

    • Kehena

      459d

      It’s been since 1992 for me. Doctors I’ve seen don’t really seem to care. They think FMS is psychosomatic.

      • LixiKat

        405d

        @Kehena this is scary I’m dealing with the same. Just want answers and I cry because my voice isn’t Hurd

    • sapphic

      465d

      I would try to find a new doctor if you can.. I was very fortunate to have a doctor that saw my disability past my weight and age and other demographics. It’s really important that you find a doctor you have a good fit with instead of settling! Best of luck 💕

    • Ash.G

      465d

      I have no idea what will help except find a female doctor.

      • TreadingWater

        403d

        @Ash.G exactly what I was going to say, I never want to sound sexist but I was asked (at 13 years old) if I was pregnant and they kept asking as if that's the reason for my swelling, until I got a female doctor who diagnosed me immediately 🙄🙄

        • Ash.G

          402d

          @TreadingWater I ether have migraines or focal seizures that don't make me move even if I do pass out. I am no closer to knowing what is going on for most of my issues. I just have educated guesses. My male doctor's thought that it was just earwax or my pollen allergy. I also downplay my issues though.

    • belles_1242

      465d

      I've been doing the same for a few years, I've tried so hard to get someone to listen but they just wipe it off like it's nothing. One doctor did say it was fibromyalgia but didn't say how I could try and help it. I'm honestly so over doctors 🙄

    • Dexcaliber

      465d

      Honestly I spent 7 years doing the same thing, the only time a doctor took me seriously was just recently... It just takes the right doctor really. I've tried as many variants in my dialogue to doctors as I could and nothing ever really worked, they either said it was hormones, anxiety, or just plainly I was faking or there was nothing they could/wanted to do. It sucks, but eventually you'll find the right doctor. Especially now that there's more research in chronic pain. If there's a hospital that allows you to see reviews on the doctors, I'd recommend doctors that are specialized in chronic pain or chronic disease management.

    • venus137

      465d

      Ask them to check your B12 levels for pernicious anaemia. Thats what causes my m.e.

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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One tip for going to the doctor as a young female presenting person is to be assertive and persistent in expressing your concerns about your pain and fatigue. Make it clear that it is significantly affecting your daily life and that you need answers. You can also consider bringing a supportive friend or family member with you to help advocate for your needs. Additionally, seeking a second opinion from another doctor or specialist may be helpful in getting the proper attention and care you deserve.

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