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Emilily

745d

Does anyone have any tips for comparing yourself to others? As a performer (singer/actress) I’ve found it especially hard not to hate on yourself because you feel you’ll never be as good as good as other people, and you have no idea how to get there. Add in the fact that I’m still in that power struggle of living with my parents while trying to navigate college, and my parents don’t want me going far away from them.

Top reply
    • Blinky

      745d

      I feel that a lot. I'm also into entertainment (although I'm more in the visual media side of it, I did do theater in highschool and felt this VERY often then), I often find myself in this loop of I'm-better-than-average, I'm-worse-than-average, and it changes every two weeks and goes up, and down, and up again, and down again. It can be very destabilizing. As creators, we find ourselves constantly trying to improve our medium. The way to improve is to see what already works and what doesn't, and that process can be sped up by comparing yourself to other people. But a lot of this uncertainty can come from this: you want to be the absolute best version of yourself. Now, I sometimes let that "best" version be dictated by the people around me, and what they look like at *their* best. But sometimes I need to back out of it and accept that the best version of myself is the version that is authentic in their journey, and although I will never stop *trying my best*, I can control how I feel about not always being the best. Intentionally giving yourself that kind of free space not to compare and just to grow can feel unsafe, because it feels like tunnel vision. But we need those moments of grounding, when we accept that we are what we are, to keep us in our own body, instead of flying out and attaching to someone else's. I have hope that your struggle with comparison will improve when you get out of the house. You'll have more individuality, and you'll get to discover more about who you are as a person without rules holding you back. I think things will fall into place for you soon. that was a lot to read whoops

    • EuropasGlow

      745d

      I wish I had helpful advice. I'm more here to just let you know I also have struggles with that as a singer and performer. I go between thinking I'm the greatest singer ever to wondering how I'm even in any of my choir groups. It really is a struggle and I truly hope you can find the best in you that I'm sure others around you see! I guess the only thing I try and tell myself is that you truly are your worst critic and almost no one else will be as critical as you are on yourself. Good luck :)

    • Blinky

      745d

      I feel that a lot. I'm also into entertainment (although I'm more in the visual media side of it, I did do theater in highschool and felt this VERY often then), I often find myself in this loop of I'm-better-than-average, I'm-worse-than-average, and it changes every two weeks and goes up, and down, and up again, and down again. It can be very destabilizing. As creators, we find ourselves constantly trying to improve our medium. The way to improve is to see what already works and what doesn't, and that process can be sped up by comparing yourself to other people. But a lot of this uncertainty can come from this: you want to be the absolute best version of yourself. Now, I sometimes let that "best" version be dictated by the people around me, and what they look like at *their* best. But sometimes I need to back out of it and accept that the best version of myself is the version that is authentic in their journey, and although I will never stop *trying my best*, I can control how I feel about not always being the best. Intentionally giving yourself that kind of free space not to compare and just to grow can feel unsafe, because it feels like tunnel vision. But we need those moments of grounding, when we accept that we are what we are, to keep us in our own body, instead of flying out and attaching to someone else's. I have hope that your struggle with comparison will improve when you get out of the house. You'll have more individuality, and you'll get to discover more about who you are as a person without rules holding you back. I think things will fall into place for you soon. that was a lot to read whoops

      • Emilily

        745d

        @Blinky you are so kind, and I truly appreciate your advice. THANK YOU! that made my heart feel very warm❤️

        • Blinky

          745d

          @Emilily I'M GLAD!! I have a tendency to type a lot so thank you for your patient reading 😅

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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