Struggling to Express Myself in Therapy

I’ve been in therapy for over three years now. It originally was for intense panic attacks that I used to get, but now it’s more focused on anxiety, especially after my recent diagnosis of GAD and ADHD. Despite being in therapy for so long, I still find it pretty impossible to say what I really feel. I don’t know if this happens to other people, but when needing to talk about myself, my throat tightens a lot and I don’t know what to say. Or when my therapist asks what I think about before having an “episode” I literally don’t know and often joke it off. It’s like I know I’m thinking a ton of things, but I can’t decipher WHAT I’m ACTUALLY thinking. Like when you know what radio station you’re on, but it’s just slightly out of range and a ton of static and other stations mix together. Any tips?

Your answer

BrainFried

2y ago

Oh boy, so my explanation for this is that it is a sort of trauma response to go into "blank mode", brain-wise. Like disassociating from yourself out of discomfort for the current situation, whatever that may be at the time, be it a trigger or a social situation. I think our brains do this to protect us from harmful thoughts or feelings, when in fact it can actually be damaging to not allow ourselves to feel them

Savinity

2y ago

It took me YEARS to figure that out

Savinity

2y ago

Write down your thoughts through out the day if you have a chance. I used to do the same thing but then I started to pay attention. My subconscious was constantly thinking of the abuse me and my siblings endured for years under our adoptive parents that I had thought was normal parental behavior. I figured out that I always had a thought about my dad before all of my manic episodes

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