What to do when the system goes quiet for months?

Ours goes quiet when we're in an extended period of distress or when our routine gets messed up for a while, trying to deal with the issues or get rid of some of the little stressors like laundry or making our bed or whatever helps them come back

That sounds like you're frontbound and very depersonalized. For the former. try doing things other alters like in hopes it will trigger them out. Otherwise, there is so easy solution for being frontstuck. For the depersonalization, try some grounding techniques, you can find them online. Then, if you don't know who you are, go through a list (if you have one) of your alters and see if any name speaks to you.