Surviving Suicide: My Journey to Better Mental Health

Hey friends! I wanted to share my story with you in hopes that some may find comfort in knowing they aren't alone, but I also want to share what I did to get my mental health in better condition. I hope this helps and please feel free to reach out to me if I can offer any sort of help fullness to what y'all are going through. I am a suicide attempt survivor. No one knew about my first attempt. I was married at the time. Had two beautiful baby girls. But I had been battling anxiety and sever depression. My wife was dealing with her own mental health and it was a very unhealthy relationship for both of us. But we were making it work for the kids. I had gotten a promotion at work. I thought things were going to get better, but I was wrong. The boss I had was very mentally abusive. Unbeknownst to them, of course. Every email I received from them would make me want to run and hide, or jump out the window. But it went untreated for too long and before long, my mental health had caused so many issues with my job that I was fired and humiliated. So I had every intention of ending my life and the life of my boss at the front door of the company, which was a very secure facility. I had a plan and a bag packed up and was going to do it the following morning. However, my wife and my mother found everything and called the police. I was arrested and then taken to get my own pair of grippy socks at the hospital. While in the hospital, I was served divorce papers, and notices that my kids were going to be taken away from me. My life as I knew it was over. In a way, I had succeeded at ending my life after all. I had to start over from scratch. I had to question everything I ever believed, question my own existence and it left me empty for a long time. But slowly, I learned and sought knowledge about life, different cultures, different beliefs. I learned more about spirituality, meditation, manifestation, and psychology. I started recognizing my own unhealthy thought patterns, and for a long time, was devastated to learn about how broken I truly was. But the more I meditated, and the more I practiced mindfulness, I became happier. I became more driven and more motivated. I developed an excellent relationship with my ex wife, found the love of my life, got to see my kids all the time, live in a house with my fiancé, but I still have bad days. I still have CRAZY anxiety from time to time and still have depressed days where I can't get out of bed. But because of my meditations, I can get through them and can understand that the uncomfortablness of sitting with my feelings will pass, and that they are temporary. If you've made it this far, please reach out to me. I want to help anyone I can. I still have to put in the work to help myself get better, and I've got a long ways to go still. But let's be friends and get there together. Thanks for listening to my story. ❤️