I’m thinking of checking myself into a hospital, I can feel my old tendencies coming back, but tomorrow is my dads birthday and we’re celebrating all weekend, so I really don’t want to make it seem like a big deal on his day, but I’m not sure what to do, I feel suicidal again, but I really don’t want to stress my family out especially my mom because she makes it seem like it’s my fault that I’m like this. I’m just not sure what to do if I feel this awful, and ik it’s just the beginning.