Struggling with Virginity in My 30s

I never thought my commitment to save sex for marriage would be such an issue. I’ve battled vaginismus and come out on the other side. I still have my moments though and it’s hard. I’ve been dating someone for a little over a month. He knew that I’m a virgin and originally said he was fine with it. Tonight he told me he’s struggling with it so I went further than I wanted to so that I could meet him halfway but it still wasn’t good enough for him. He broke up with me shortly after. He made sure I knew that I’m in my 30s and still single for this reason and it’s why I’m frequently cheated on. I feel depressed. I feel suicidal. I just want to be loved.