Struggling with Trauma-Related Dissociation

Yeah, I will get pretty bad when I think of talk about my trauma. Even like things like songs playing on the radio will leave me brainless and unable to speak. I’ve been trying over the past year to slowly insert myself in situations that remind me of trauma to get used to them. For instance, if a song on the radio bothers me, I will find a time I can safely expose myself to it to work through my feelings about the song. Granted, sometimes this works and I can listen to that song later with a minimum reaction, or it does absolutely nothing for me and I still get messed up when I listen to that song. I also find talking about my trauma more (either in person or in a journal) to normalize it and process it is slowly making the blow less and less over time, thought I’m not quite there yet on certain aspects of my traumas. I hope you find peace with your traumas and better learn how to cope! I’m always here if you need it!

I recently moved back into my childhood home, which housed a lot of traumatic events, to take care of my grandfather. Everything is different and good now, but right after we moved in I started dissociating and getting panic attacks. Doctors think it's my bipolar and keep trying to treat it with antipsychotics, but it hasn't worked. It makes sense to me that trauma would cause this, what do y'all think?

I get triggered and feel outside my body. Can’t remember what happened after and it’s so fucking embarrassing. I make such a fool of myself.

Very much so, its like my mind gets sucked into the past, or putting me inside of my memory, im not existing when im reliving moments.