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juic.e

688d

I had a meeting with my therapist today and she suggested I make this post. Long story short I’ve had a horrible self esteem my whole life and I can’t for the life of me figure out how to improve it. Everything I’ve been told to do just seems so fake. I’ve tried self care apps, journaling, positive affirmations, etc, but nothing has seemed to help. I don’t know if I’m not trying hard enough or if I just haven’t found what works for me. If anyone has any suggestions I’d really appreciate it.

Top reply
    • Elwood

      688d

      Honestly just be true to you, in my experience it never goes away but occasionally I’ll think nice things about myself and that’s an improvement. Don’t fake anything for anyone, be true to you and you’ll learn that you are good just the way you are

    • Reallyhopeful

      686d

      The only thing I know for sure is this, that building self-esteem wasn't easy. What I had to do is find out from my family and friends what they liked about me and what talents they thought that I had. I found out that I am and very good encourager! And I am a helper! But I don't like to be in the limelight. You can find out a lot just by asking someone what they thought about you! Try it! It can't hurt

    • Spawndrus

      687d

      I've switched away from the self depreciating humor as well, and while it's not an instant fix, it definitely helps! Once it becomes a habit, it at least takes away the immediate reaction to bring yourself down. Glad there's other people doing this too 😊

    • AnimalBoy

      688d

      Honestly? The only thing I found useful were things that didnt feel like putting work in. A lot of people say building your self esteem and mental health requires work, and it does, but it shouldn't feel like pulling teeth. If it does your never going to get comfortable with it and it'll never be in your routine so it's just not a method for you. I tried positive affirmations for years it all felt artificial and weird. Instead I made the active decision to change my humor, self deprecating humor was always funny and got laughs but it did make a few people uncomfortable or defensive of me so I decided to change it to sarcastic positivity and eventually, even though I was being sarcastic, it actually helped to hear myself say positive things about myself or my actions/creations.

      • juic.e

        687d

        @AnimalBoy self depreciating humour is definitely something I partake in a lot. I’ve honestly cut down on it a lot compared to when I was a teenager. But I do think trying to say positive things more often is helpful. I’ve been trying to, and that’s really all anyone can do. Thank you for the advice (:

        • AnimalBoy

          687d

          @juic.e no problem! I've also noticed inadequate sleep or feeling unhygienic contributes to a worse self view especially if you're already struggling with it. Like I always say if you feel like everyone hates you go to sleep, if you feel like you hate everyone eat, and if you feel like you hate yourself take a shower. It might not fix it but it does help quite a bit and keeping in mind that you're a person and like all people you not only deserve the self care but need it to survive can help realign priorities that can be messed up from living with people who demean your self worth.

    • lilaclemonade

      688d

      Hi!! I also struggle with self esteem, and I think increasing it varies from person to person. It doesn’t sound like it would help, but when I do good things for other people it sort of helps me feel better about the person I am. If you’re ever mean to yourself, something I am very guilty of, it sometimes helps to envision yourself as younger you. You wouldn’t say those things to child you, why tell them to yourself now? You’re just as important now as you were then. You’re doing amazing, and when you find what works for you, you’ll know. 💕

      • juic.e

        687d

        @lilaclemonade I really enjoy doing nice things for other people but I always feel like it’s not enough. I do think a good way to help me feel better about myself is to help others since I’m a pretty empathic person, sometimes it just feels like it’s never enough yknow?

    • Sarah9

      688d

      I find that if there are people in your life who put you down or who tell you you should have low self esteem for whatever reason or who just help you continue to feel that way you need to cut them out of your life and surround yourself with people who encourage you and lift you up instead.

      • juic.e

        687d

        @Sarah9 I have done that for the most part but my parents are the biggest reason I’m so negative about myself. I still live at home but I’m moving out soon, so maybe I can build up my self confidence then.

    • Elwood

      688d

      Honestly just be true to you, in my experience it never goes away but occasionally I’ll think nice things about myself and that’s an improvement. Don’t fake anything for anyone, be true to you and you’ll learn that you are good just the way you are

      • juic.e

        687d

        @Elwood I think I do act as I want for the most part. The problem with that is that I think the way I act is annoying and bothersome 😬 I’m always genuine with people but I don’t like that about myself

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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