Struggling with PMDD and Suicidal Thoughts

Hello everyone, I have just realized that I have this disorder but cant make a Drs appt to confirm diagnosis until Mon I thought I had BPD. Ive been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. But I started noticing patterns of mental issues that seem to go with my cycle. Every 2 weeks my husband and I fight like cats and dogs for 2 weeks.... (BPD cycles every 2 weeks as well) I have misphonia, which I just learned is when repetitive sounds drive you crazy. I have: feelings of sadness, despair, thoughts of suicide (I always thought it was passive suicide ideation, which is sometimes a symptom of bpd) Always tense; I have anxiety and panic attacks. Mood swings, I used to cry alot until my husband said I was using it as a manipulation tactic and I choose to bottle up those emotions and turn it into anger instead of sadness. Not proud of this; Simply stating facts 😢 Which brings me to lasting anger and irritability that affects other people 😢 Lack of interests in daily activities and relationships 😢 Trouble thinking or focusing (I thought this was adhd) Tiredness or low-energy (thought it was depression) Food cravings or binge eating (yes) Trouble sleeping (nearly always) Feeling out of control (yes 😵) Physical symptoms, such as bloating, breast tenderness, headaches, and joint or muscle pain (I WAS TOLD THESE WERE NORMAL PERIOD SYMPTOMS!!!) And finally: The last time I was without extra hormones in my body from birth control or pregnancy: **trigger warning: self harm** The last day of my last period for my oldest was Jan 3 2010. Exactly 2 weeks prior to this day was Dec 20th 2009... which happens to be the day I last tried to unalive myself. Also would have been the 1st day of my PMDD cycle... Im sorry if i triggered anyone, this is the first time I am admitting it to anyone who wasnt there and Im really sorry if it triggers you but Im saying it because: 30% OF THOSE WITH PMDD WILL ATTEMPT SUICIDE While men assigned male at birth are more likely to die by suicide, women assigned female at birth attempt suicide three times more often. I am a statistic. Before I ever knew I had the disorder 😢 How do you cope? Does Midol help? I've never tried it... Is there a medication out there to help with the symptoms or is it a therapy only approach? Do we just avoid the ones we love 2 weeks out the month so we dont accidentially hurt their feelings??? Any/all info or suggestions your willing to give will be greatly appreciated!!