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pleasedontlookatme

589d

just got officially diagnosed today, blood work and ultrasound confirmed my fears. my gyno told me i HAD to go on bc after i said i didn't want to because my wife and i are in the pre-planning stages of preparing our lives to have me start trying to conceive. so, there's that. she also prescribed me metformin, which i will be starting tomorrow after some serious consideration. but now im stuck, because how do i tell her that i didn't take the bc after she told me i had to, at my three month check in? ugh. i know i should be relieved to know what is wrong with me, finally after all these years i have a name for something family reassured me would "get better with time" but i feel hopeless and like im evaporating into thin air. i guess the worst part is no one i know is educated on it, and i try explaining why it's hard for me, as someone who has always wanted to carry a child or two, ive realized that my chances of doing that for my wife and i; starting a family is going to be a lot harder than i had initially anticipated. and it's just so daunting. i don't think people understand just how scary it is. regardless if i had pcos or not, it was going to be harder because we're a queer couple, and we have to go through a fertility clinic anyways with donor sperm, which that gets $$ really quickly. im not complaining because i know that children are a blessing and worth every penny, but it is frustrating seeing people in our very heterosexual family conceiving without a second thought, when we have to try, and try. and i don't think they understand because they've never really been in our shoes, saving thousands of dollars to be able to just try for a baby. that doesn't include the saving for the child itself. most people ask us why my wife can't just do it, but she has endometriosis and is in the process of getting a hysterectomy and it is her personal choice to not carry a child within her body. people ask us why we don't just adopt, when they don't consider that, that is a very large goal for us in the future, but right now, it's not feasible. being an adopted child myself, i know that process is hell and back again. and honestly, the majority of people who tell us to "just adopt" have never actually gone through the process themselves. i feel like everyone just tries to slap a bandaid on our vocalisations of our stress and pain without considering that maybe we have already considered that exact thing a thousand times. and now, im in a spot where, i feel so unbelievably guilty for even thinking about bringing another person into this world given the state of it. it's just so devastating. and i feel so hopeless. im full of hope usually, im not a very pessimistic person, but this, might just be my breaking point. to everyone who got through this stage, how did you do it? how did you regain that hope? any success stories or suggestions are greatly appreciated. 🧡

Top reply
    • Grace123456

      587d

      @Grace123456 And by “I eat a lot less of things” I mean I eat less gluten, dairy, soy, and sugar and more proteins and veggies.

    • Grace123456

      587d

      While I haven’t been in your exact shoes I can empathize with some of your fears and worries. PCOS can be a very daunting diagnosis for anyone and you have so many added layers to your experience friend. I can share that when I was diagnosed with PCOS 2 years ago I was really lost as to what it really entailed and worried about being able to conceive one day. I started researching and found a free 30 lifestyle/meal plan challenge for beating PCOS. The educational content helped me even more than the meal plan. Now I know how to eat best for my body and one day how best to eat in order to help my body conceive. I don’t follow the meal plan strictly. I took what information and recipes I wanted to and left what I didn’t want. I never fully cut anything out of my diet like the plan recommends but I eat a lot less of things and feel so much better and lost a whole 30 pounds in one year! https://beatpcos.com

      • Grace123456

        587d

        @Grace123456 And by “I eat a lot less of things” I mean I eat less gluten, dairy, soy, and sugar and more proteins and veggies.

    • mandabean

      587d

      The best thing I did for my PCOS was to find an endocrinologist who specialized in PCOS. She ordered labs that my GYN wouldn't order and started me on Metformin and Spironolactone. Birth control could help to control the growth of cysts, but might not be the best choice if you want to conceive soon. In your case visiting a Reproductive Endocrinologist might be a good option.

    • 100Percent_K

      589d

      The first thing I wanna say is that it’s absolutely normal and okay to be upset and grieve your body. We all do it when we receive a new diagnosis and it’s OK. Secondly, I would say just be up front with the GYN about it. You have every right to deny any medication a doctor offers you. It should be a conversation between you two and a mutually agreed upon treatment plan. The last thing I’ll say is get a referral to a reproductive endocrinologist if you are able to. They help with PCOS and fertility as well, so they may be a lot more aligned with your goals. You will get through this and everything will be okay, maybe not right now, but at some point you will get there

    • Sunflower.System

      589d

      A little over a year ago, I got tired of how painful my periods are because of adenomyosis. I did one birth control shot and I bled for the entire 3 months it lasted. But my period remained irregular for a year once it left my system, until I went 3 months without one. I got concerned and went to the gyno. They did blood work and an ultrasound. A week later I came back and was diagnosed with PCOS. Basically, I wasn't getting periods because I wasn't ovulating. That really took a toll. It's my dream in life to have a large family. I expected getting pregnant would be so easy for me because all the women in my family have so many kids and accidental pregnancies. I was put on Metformin as well and my dr recommended birth control. I accepted some pamphlets to appease her, but I don't want to go back on hormones unless I absolutely need to (because adenomyosis can potentially get so bad that it requires a hysterectomy). It's been about 3 months since that appointment and I've stopped my Metformin. I totally turned my diet around to get healthy again. As I've been getting closer to a healthier weight, my body has begun ovulating and menstruating again without the pills I was given to force periods every 3 months. I've been working on trying to accept I may not be able to have kids, which is a devastating thought. I might not be able to adopt because of my mental health history. I definitely can't adopt if I don't have a spouse, since I'll be on disability. They don't give kids to single disabled people. I cannot imagine living a long life if I don't have kids.

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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