Struggling with Opioid Addiction and Withdrawal

I was just released from jail me and my little sister was using fentanyl and she died in my apt. I Did a year in county jail. And I don't know if I'll ever recover but I love hearing that people get off opioids. I been to rehab over 20 times. Just a little advice do not be hard on yourself for falling off the wagon just don't quit quiting. In your heart when your using you know you dont wanna be an addict then it don't matter if you fall off the wagon 100x. Just don't make peace with becoming and addict. I have made peace with it and it like selling my soul I hate myself

Have you tried or heard of suboxone/subutex? It’s a beta opioid that’s used in small amounts daily to treat opioid addiction. I’ve been on it for more than a year and it’s the best thing that’s happened to me in terms of fighting addiction. I don’t have cravings much anymore because I can just melt a suboxone under my tongue (the only way to take it is sublingually) and I feel great! It’s a little euphoric and also helps treat pain if you experience chronic pain. See if there’s a MAT (Medically assisted treatment) clinic in your area and see if this option may be right for you. Good luck!