Struggling with OCD and Feeling Isolated

Having another OCD attack, I politely asked my brother to do the dishes after dinner bc I had cleaned the kitchen. He said “yeah” then hours later they hadn’t been touched so I asked him “hey are u still planning to do the dishes” and he responded “eh i might just unload them there’s not that many” so I said “ok how about I unload the dishwasher and you load it” and he said “can you stop freaking out?” And I was like “what?” And he said “I know how you get” And i feel like a terrible person. I feel like my family doesn’t want to be around me because I can’t control my impulses. I’m trying to ask people for help (example: asking my brother to do the dishes) so I don’t go on a compulsive rampage, but comments like that make me feel so terrible about myself and isolated and I don’t know what to do to help myself. I don’t know if I should dissociate and give into the impulses or try to ignore them which results in massive anxiety attacks/ panic attacks. It’s times like this where I wish I had a therapist to help me sort things out. Any advice would be greatly appreciated:(💚