See Alike in...

Alike App

Browser

LittleSlime

730d

tw// denial, doubt, generally anxious rambling about our new DID diagnosis this is mostly a vent with a few questions. I've recently been diagnosed with DID and I feel like I've been full panic mode ever since. I don't know who I am, where one alter ends and another begins. I feel like I'm faking, I would go into it more but it would just be triggering and I'm sure you get the point. does anyone else find themselves resenting other systems? like internalized DID-phobia, it doesn't happen often but I feel so guilty when it does. how do I tell what's a switch and what's regular dissociation? how do I see the inner-world more/better? how do I tell what's real communication and what's an active imagination? how do I stop feeling like this?

Top reply
    • Catt

      722d

      I'm brand new to this too! I'm feeling kind of lost myself. Just know you're not alone. And we are here to chat if you ever want to!

    • Catt

      722d

      I'm brand new to this too! I'm feeling kind of lost myself. Just know you're not alone. And we are here to chat if you ever want to!

    • Syd.The.Space.Sloth

      727d

      I want to start out with that I completely understand how scary this is. It's new and feels invasive and it's confusing and it can really suck sometimes. I want you to know it will get better, you will get used to it and figure it out. As for your questions, I've personally never heard of internalized DID-phobia but as a gay autistic trans man I do have some internalized homophobia, transphobia, and ableism. What I do to stop that is remind myself: that is wrong. Thinking bad things about others because I am insecure is wrong. I try to identify the behavior and shut it down. I dissociate a lot, multiple times a day, but we switch a lot less. The best way to tell if you have switched is to evaluate how you felt before and how you feel now. If you feel generally the same, probably haven't switched. If you feel a different emotion that you'd think you have no reason to feel or your sort of attitude and thoughts and tendencies change, probably switched. I can't really access our innerworld, so I can't offer a lot of advice on that question, but I know the app SimplyPlural that we use to track alters and who's fronting has some helpful links and one of them is about innerworlds. Hm, I struggle with the communication to, like, "Is this another alter or just me?" The way I figure it out is specifically think about that other alter that I think I'm talking to because I guess it kind of like, summons them? I don't know, but then if I feel they aren't close to front at all then I'm like "oh, that was just me" but usually they're like "yeah that was me". If you don't know if it's a specific alter, my suggestion would be to record the interaction, like write it down somewhere I'm so sorry you feel this way. I've been there, it's not fun. I don't have an exact answer for you. This disorder has a lot of ups and downs. It sucks. I do think that with time and effort you will start to feel better, as you learn about the other alters and buikd communication and such You can always DM us if you need someone. We wish you the best <3 ‐Cody

    • Aleshanee

      730d

      1) What you are going through is completely normal. 2) Thinking that you're faking? Also completely normal. 3. Switching and dissociation can be a thin line. Switching can be quick but it can also take days of dissociation. It can also be unnoticeable. 4. I strongly recommend the app Simply Plural. It's on both Iphone and Android. 5. Looking at an alter list (if y'all have one) and just seeing if a name fits, and feels right, is so helpful. 6. If you don't know who you are, also completely normal. You could just be blurry. You could also be co-fronting or co-conscious with one or more headmates. You could also be feeling blending/bleeding and being indirectly affected by one of your headmates. 7. Definitely sounds like internalized DID-phobia but that's okay. Explore that and find the root of it. 8. Seeing the innerworld will come with time, communication, and focus. For now, I'd leave it alone. 9. If you're not sure if the communication is true, ask it questions you wouldn't know. Like, what's your name, what's your favorite color, etc. Take it with a grain of salt. Then maybe leave a note for that person to verify the info or ask again as communication gets better. 10. Most Important. Breathe. It will get easier. We found out about our system 6ish months ago and we still freak out. It's normal. You are valid. Your system is valid. -Moss

    • DreamEmulator

      730d

      Hi… a lot of what you said resonates with us. Shoot us a DM if you feel comfortable; we’d love to answer your questions and try to help you navigate this in any way we can.

    • BanderSnail

      730d

      I don't have advice, I'm new to this too, but definitely feel similarly sometimes

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

Thank you! Your submission has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.

Want to chat or share? Download the Alike app now and get complete access to Alike.health's unique features.

Find people who are
experiencing a similar
medical reality

100% Free
100%
Free

Download Alike for the full experience

JOIN

View All

Bupropion

night sweats

paranoid

Valium

sertraline

palpitations

Anxiety (Including GAD)

Depression

palpitations

Depression

Valium

Bupropion