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jan_Elute

425d

How can i know if my therapist is right for me? I’ve been seeing someone to help my social anxiety for 3 or 4 months now, and i feel like i’ve had little improvement. However i do feel like i’m mainly to blame, I find it very difficult to do any exposures or things she tells me to do and when i do do them it usually doesn’t change anything and it just becomes very exhausting to keep up. I feel like maybe she doesn’t understand how my comorbidities (audhd) can impact this. She says i’m too concerned with my labels and that i’m “in the mainstream” in terms of autism and can talk to her fine so it must not impact me much. I feel like i’m constantly trying to explain myself and how i work to her but she has this model in her head shes following and makes assumptions based on it. But i don’t know if thats just my fault for not being good at communicating what i’m feeling. Maybe i’ll have this issue with any therapist. I’m not sure if i should stop because sessions are making me more stressed, or if its just my fault for not changing my thinking enough so i should continue. I’ve told her i might want to stop but maybe i’m just subconsciously avoiding doing difficult things to get better. I’m just not sure

Top reply
    • Couch_Potato

      330d

      My point is you should switch therapists

    • Couch_Potato

      330d

      My point is you should switch therapists

    • Couch_Potato

      330d

      You shouldn’t feel like you’re at fault with you therapist. And they should never make assumptions or treat you based on what they have in mind. My therapist will tell me her gut feelings but then she asks me if that’s how my brain works or not and that’s how it should be. You’re the expert on how your brain works. Don’t let anyone tell you how it works if they’re not right. Idk if that makes sense. I’m high rn 😂

    • Jazzy78

      408d

      After dealing with psychologists who think they get it but don't really understand a neurodivergent mind, I am finally seeing a counsellor who has ADHD. She is freaking amazing and so good at what she does. I can't tell you how good it feels to talk to someone who totally gets it and can also give you tips on how to get past struggles that I've not been able to get through with a regular psychologist.

    • Goomby

      421d

      I'm a counsellor in training with a specific interest in ADHD and autism and I find it kind of concerning that she's trying to tell you how much a condition affects you instead of trying to understand it from your point of view. If you are "concerned with your labels" then your experience of them has meaning. I can see why if preoccupation with them might be blocking you, she wants to draw attention to that but labels can be really significant and have a lot of meaning personally and in how we interact with the world. I obviously don't know your relationship with her, but would you feel comfortable bringing this stuff up? If not, even after 3 months, it's a sign that maybe it's not the right fit.

    • 4byfour

      421d

      Yeah she’s trying to impose herself onto you. Maybe her methods are effective for other people, but clearly she’s not acknowledging how she should adapt her methods to suit you.

    • Finleaf

      425d

      I always advise to try and trust your gut - in this case it seems like your gut is telling you she isn't right for you, and I would agree. She seems very uneducated and closed-minded abt autism and adhd, a good therapist should not be dismissing your neurodivergence or telling you it doesn't impact you!!! I'm also AuDHD and I have an amazing therapist who listens and adapts her advice when she suggests something that doesn't work for my brain. Someone you connect with and feel safe with is out there, every therapist is different <3

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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It's important to have a therapist that understands your needs and can effectively help you. If you feel like your therapist is not understanding your comorbidities and you're constantly trying to explain yourself, it might be worth considering finding a new therapist who has more experience with your specific conditions. It's not necessarily your fault for not communicating well; the right therapist should be able to understand and support you in your journey.

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