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NightmaredAsylum

699d

Hello. I'm not entirely sure how this thing works but hi. So I've been struggling with an ongoing issue of figuring out if I'm a system or not. It's common with DID and OSDD. I've done some research and everyone says something different about BPD(borderline personality disorder) which is what I have. Some people say you can have a system with BPD other people say you can't. I think I am personally since I genuinely experience all the symptoms and there's other people in my head apart from myself. I do have trauma so it's not an endo(fake system) It's been going on for years I'm just not sure if what I'm feeling is genuine or if it's all in my head. In a metaphorical sense.

Top reply
    • mmm

      694d

      Try looking into Structural dissociation. Google "The Treatment of Structural Dissociation in Chronically Traumatized Patients". I would link it but it won't let me. It talks about parts. **From my understanding as a non-professional** Ptsd is more of a primary Structural Dissociation only being split in 2 the "apparently normal" part (ANP) and the trauma response part. Bpd and cptsd are secondary structural dissociation due to having more trauma parts. So 1 "ANP" and multiple active trauma responses( fight, flight, freeze, submission, and cry for help). DID (Tertiary Structural Dissociation) is when those parts are more elaborate and autonomous. There is also typically more of them. It's a really amazing read. It's everything I tried explaining for years put into words lol. I can feel and hear the trauma parts so loud and individual. I use to say I have multiple "me" in my head. I have memory issues due to being dissociated almost always but no amnesia like you would experience in DID. That being said idk your experience but hopefully that article could help you figure out what's going on. Also it's kinda controversial due to the language they use and the goals they set, so it could be triggering but I found it helpful as someone with bpd, I can't speak from a DID perspective.

    • mmm

      694d

      Try looking into Structural dissociation. Google "The Treatment of Structural Dissociation in Chronically Traumatized Patients". I would link it but it won't let me. It talks about parts. **From my understanding as a non-professional** Ptsd is more of a primary Structural Dissociation only being split in 2 the "apparently normal" part (ANP) and the trauma response part. Bpd and cptsd are secondary structural dissociation due to having more trauma parts. So 1 "ANP" and multiple active trauma responses( fight, flight, freeze, submission, and cry for help). DID (Tertiary Structural Dissociation) is when those parts are more elaborate and autonomous. There is also typically more of them. It's a really amazing read. It's everything I tried explaining for years put into words lol. I can feel and hear the trauma parts so loud and individual. I use to say I have multiple "me" in my head. I have memory issues due to being dissociated almost always but no amnesia like you would experience in DID. That being said idk your experience but hopefully that article could help you figure out what's going on. Also it's kinda controversial due to the language they use and the goals they set, so it could be triggering but I found it helpful as someone with bpd, I can't speak from a DID perspective.

    • B_Legion

      699d

      Endos arent fake, there’s even longstanding traditions that involve being a system. That aside, we’ve met several BPD systems. There’s this dissociative phenomenon with BPD where you can dissociate so hard you don’t recognize familiar things as familiar, sometimes even yourself. From what we’ve heard from BPD systems they became systems when that was a prolonged or very frequent experience, and then additionally trauma and the desire to be anyone else led to them splitting (in the dissociative disorder way, not the BPD way. I.E. become more people or more versions of a person)

      • NightmaredAsylum

        699d

        @B_Legion Okay thank you that's actually reassuring that this is a real thing I'm experiencing. Also, I was informed by a different friend, endos are fake systems because systems are naturally created from trauma. Where as endos are just created manually which is why it's called a "fake system" because you can't just create one. Is that not right? If so could you explain to me what an endo actually is? I don't want to know the wrong information.

        • B_Legion

          699d

          @NightmaredAsylum endogenic system just refers to systems not caused by trauma. It’s been long established that system hood can be induced, meaning someone can do certain things to cause you to split (and frequently this is traumatic, through torture, abuse, or brainwashing, but it doesn’t have to be). Additionally there’s centuries spanning spiritual traditions that involve inducing plurality. There’s a reason the DSM V has exceptions to DID, OSDD, DDNOS, etc. for these type of things. One type of religious plurality is the Buddhist praxis of making a tulpa. This has been used by the plural community at large for any instance of intentionally created headmate, under the practice name of “tulpamancy.” But tulpa is a buddhist religious praxis and shouldn’t be appropriated and removed from its cultural context. This doesn’t make self proclaimed tulpa systems fake, it just means they’re divorcing religious terminology from its religious culture in order to have language that describes their experiences. But again, externally and self induced plurality is something that’s been around for centuries at a bare minimum, and probably longer than that. Additionally a lot of DID etc. systems that have managed to integrate well, recover, and not really be disordered in their experience anymore on their own might struggle with getting a diagnosis. Leading both non affirming therapists and judgemental people to claim that they’re fake. Some systems might then feel that endogenic is the right term for them so as to find community since they’re being unfairly and cruelly ostracized and harassed for something that is a real, lived experience. Non traumatically inducing systemhood isn’t “fake”, it’s just different. And it’s mentioned as an exception in the DSM. (So as to not pathologize cultural praxes. Fakeclaiming is just another form of bullying really, you can’t know someone’s experiences for real unless you are them. Invalidating entire swathes of human experience doesn’t do anyone any good lol I know it’s probably distressing to watch someone enjoying plurality when you’re like… bleeding some of your most precious memories due to amnesia, etc. I know we sometimes get horribly upset when endogenic systems are like… fine and having fun, it feels horribly unfair and unjust. But that doesn’t mean it IS unfair, it’s just feelings. And lashing out at people that haven’t done anything, trying to make us feel better about our jealousy isn’t going to help anybody. It’d just be a hurt DID system trying to destroy some other system’s identities. Which is messed up 😅 Anyway, many would say your experience is fake. But we’ve met other BPD neurogenic systems, and even still what gain does anyone receive from invalidating your experiences? And more importantly, what harm might you suffer from having your experiences and identity invalidated?

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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