Struggling with IBS and Blaming Myself for Past Trauma

i definitely relate to what you said about not knowing whether your experiences are real. one thing that helps me when i’m stuck in that thought cycle is the fact that a lot of people with GI issues have actual physical differences in the sensory/pain networks of the brain, so even if your GI functions themselves are “normal”, your brain is oversensitive to and hyperaware of those sensations, meaning they are a lot more painful to you than they would be in someone without IBS. additionally, many people with IBS have been shown to have hypersensitive nerves within the gut, so again, even if the GI functions themselves are “normal”, they feel a lot more painful to us than to someone without IBS. i hope this is helpful, i know it is something that helps me feel better when i start to doubt my symptoms/experiences

I've ibs since I was a kid. There are certainly certain foods that trigger it. I just found out that dark chocolate is one of my triggers. There was a supplement I used that semi helped regulate my bowels. It's called Papaya Digestive Support by Country Life that helped. Funny enough, rockstar energy drinks, specifically the fruit punch drink, helps a lot. Keeps me regulated. What happened in your past is not your fault. I hope you will go see a therapist or someone who is professionally trained to help you process your emotions/past. Many of my physical conditions were amplified due to my depression. Once my depression was cured, a good portion of the medical problems disappeared. I hope your journey to recovery is smooth.

I'm so sorry. You've clearly dealt with a lot in your life and that sucks. I won't tell you that you need to "move on" from it but it is possible to manage the hurt that has been done to your body. I messed up my body big time while I was deep in the throes of several eating disorders. I feel like I'm a slave to laxatives just so that I can feel slightly normal. I don't know if I'll ever have "normal" digestion ever again. Every body is different, but I have found that regular exercise and anxiety medication have helped me immensely. I was afraid that my IBS would prevent me from having the energy to lift weights but it's only helped my symptoms. I'm not trying to give you a quick fix or anything, but just giving some ideas. And know that you can come up from what feels like rock bottom. Good luck. :-)