Struggling with Hygiene Due to PTSD

One of the issues with self-care activities like hygiene when you've got PTSD is that it becomes much more difficult to picture yourself in the future. My therapist and I talked about it one day. This scary, unpredictable event or pattern happened to us, and we could not control the situation. Before the trauma, it might have been easier to picture ourselves with a degree, or a career, or a family, because we felt more confident and in control, or at least like we had settled into a somewhat comfortable "normal." But how do I picture myself being strong enough to get through a graduate program if I'm capable of finding myself in these bad situations? That sort of thinking is why I chickened out of going to grad school after a traumatic event the summer before. Know a few other positive choices in my life which fell away after that summer? Flossing daily, showering more than once or twice a week, exercising regularly, multiple major social outlets, consistent sleep schedule, taking my meds at the right time.. Because when you're feeling raw from your PTSD and scared of the uncertainty of the future, a version of you which exists in a few years is much harder to picture. And if you might not even be around in a couple years to have your teeth rot out, why the hell not stop brushing them and have an energy drink and cigarettes for breakfast?

I brought a TV into the bathroom and watch my favorite TV shows. At first my partner thought I was crazy taking a TV to the bathroom with me but once I explained it she went and bought a spare one just for the bathroom and mounted it. It is easier to bath or shower if I don't have to focus and what I am doing fully.

I’ve dealt with the same thing and stuff I found helpful is watching a show in the show on your phone using deodorant before I go to sleep (stop smell before it starts) and if you smell a bit funky but can’t bring yourself to shower use a scented lotion to make you feel a bit better about yourself. You can also use dry shampoo for your hair there is also waterless shampoo (very easy and effective) which I found helpful.

I completely understand what you are going through. I have personally been through it and it truly does suck so I am so sorry you had to go through that. Take it day by day. Honestly when that happened to me I was scared to get in the shower but I took it day by day and started off by just washing my hair (dry shampoo works for this if you don't want to shower). Then you just slowly wash your body. If you have flashbacks to that moment then rinse off and get out. Don't push yourself too much there is no pressure. For brushing your teeth and washing your face I suggest getting a skincare routine set. I have a skincare routine and certain products that I love and you can send me a message if you want my suggestions. For brushing teeth I do find it kind of difficult myself but just get up in the morning and happy or motivational songs help lift your mood or you can have an electronic (echo, echo dot, Siri, etc.) To tell you a joke. Bringing yourself up in the morning helps you get through your day.

So, between sexual trauma and gender dysphoria, I've never liked showering cause I have to be nude and I'm quite uncomfortable with my genital situation. But as my fibromyalgia has continued to progress, I now need a hot shower every morning to unclench my back muscles before I'm in any shape to interact with other humans. I've made it work with good music and I'll keep some sorta "girly beauty product" on hand. Sure, I'm a dude, and I'm also gonna let go of my "captivating charcoal citrus scrub" or "secret wonderland body butter" or whatever when toxic masculinity pries them from my cold unfeeling fingertips. I'll crank up my music to some songs I know and love to sing, the distraction of singing in the shower is helpful to me. I've also found a pattern of showering which makes it easier for me. I'll actually start now by washing my butt and bits before I even wet my hair, just to knock out the hardest part first so I don't have anything to dread the whole time. After that's done, I'm free to just stand in the hot water and sing until my back loosens up and I can stretch it out. I save the bougie scrubby stuff for the very end, a reward. No matter how far I go in my transition, I'll never stop enjoying having super soft skin and smelling pretty. I mean, people will even say I've got really soft skin for a guy, and I just kinda smile to myself like "yes, yes, fawn over me while I pretend I'm just magic and this soft skin isn't from my PTSD trigger avoidance strategy.."

Listen to podcasts in the shower! It takes your mind off of it and also could become a habit. Also you could only listen to the podcast while showering. That way in order to find out what happens next you have to shower again! Wishing you all the best I know it's tough.

The only thing that helps me is just doing it suddenly without thinking about it. I still only shower once or twice a week so I’m not a great advisor. I also have a specific phobia related to showering which doesn’t help. It’s really hard, I’m sorry you have to deal with this too :(